Hilarii epistola ad Abram filiam suam

525-526 The Letter of Saint Hilary to His Daughter Abra. (Sent near the end of the year.) Hilary to his most beloved daughter Abra, greetings in the Lord. Abra grieves her father’s absence. — I have received your letter, in which I understand that you long for me; and I am certain of this. For I perceive how desirable is the presence of those who are loved. And because I knew that my absence was grievous to you, lest you perhaps think me impious toward you for being away from you so long, I wished to excuse to you both my journey and my delays, so that you might understand that I am absent not impiously, but to your benefit. For since I hold you, daughter, as my only child, and, as far as I am concerned, of one mind with me, I would have you live as the most beautiful and healthiest of all. Hilary is away to procure a precious garment and pearl for his daughter. — I was told, therefore, that there was a certain young man possessing a pearl and a garment of inestimable price; and that if anyone could obtain them from him, he would become rich and safe beyond human wealth and health. Upon hearing this, I set out to him; and when, after many long and difficult journeys, I had come to him, I immediately fell down upon seeing him. For he is so beautiful a young man that no one dares to stand before his sight.

When he saw me prostrate, he ordered that I be asked what I wanted and what I was requesting; and I replied that I had heard about his garment and pearl, and had come for that reason; and if he deigned to grant it to me, I had a daughter whom I loved very much, for whom I was seeking this garment and pearl. And amid these things, prostrate on my face, I weep profusely, and groaning night and day, I beg that he deign to hear my prayer. This garment and pearl, how much they are to be valued. — After these things, because he is a good youth and nothing is better than him, he says to me, "Do you know this garment and this pearl, which you beg from me with tears, that I grant it to your daughter?" And I replied to him, "Lord, I have known of them by hearing, and believed by faith; and I know that they are the best, and that it is true salvation to use this garment and to be adorned with this pearl." And immediately he ordered his servants to show me both this garment and this pearl; and at once it is done. And I first saw the garment: I saw, daughter, I saw what I cannot express in words. Was not silk compared to its fineness like spartum? Did not snows compared to its whiteness not grow black? Did not gold next to its brilliance not become livid? For it itself is many-colored, and absolutely nothing compared to it could be equaled. After that I saw the pearl: when I saw it, I immediately collapsed. For my eyes could not endure so great its color. For neither the appearance of the sky, nor of light, nor of the sea, nor of the earth could be compared to its beauty.

The advantages and gifts of both. — And as I lay prostrate, one of those standing by said to me, “I see that you are a solicitous and good father, and that you desire this garment and this pearl for your daughter; but that you may desire it more, I will show you what further good this garment and this pearl possess. This garment is never eaten by moths, is not worn out by use, is not stained by filth, is not torn by force, is not lost through damage; but it always remains just as it is. The virtue of the pearl, however, is this: that if anyone puts it on, he does not fall ill, does not grow old, does not die. It has in itself nothing at all that is harmful to the body; but for the one using it, nothing happens that brings death, or changes his age, or hinders his health.” When I heard this, daughter, I began to be more than ever consumed with desire for the pearl and this garment; and as I lay prostrate, with unceasing weeping and intent prayer I began to beseech the young man, saying: “Holy Lord, have mercy on my prayer, and have mercy on my anxiety and my life. For if you do not grant me this garment and this pearl, I will be wretched, and I will lose my daughter while she is still alive; I wish to go into exile for the sake of this garment and this pearl. You know, Lord, that I am not lying to you.

Hilary to his daughter: promises are made, provided she casts aside vain ornaments. — After he heard my voice, he ordered me to rise; and he said to me, “Your prayers and tears have moved me, and it is well that you have believed this. And because you said that you were willing to spend your very life for this pearl, I cannot deny it to you: but you must know my intention and will. The garment which I will give is such that if anyone wishes to use another garment, colored, silken, and gilded, he cannot take my garment. But I will give it to her who is content to be clothed not in silken attire, but in natural colors and inexpensive fabric: so that, by custom, the garment may have a very narrow purple border; but the purple itself is not spread over the garment. The pearl, however, which you ask of me, is of such a nature that no one can possess it who has had another pearl: because other pearls are either from the earth or from the sea; but mine, as you yourself see, is beautiful and precious, incomparable and celestial, and does not deign to be where others are. For my things do not accord with the things of man: because he who uses my garment and pearl is forever sound; he does not burn with fever, he is not open to wounds, he is not changed by years, he is not dissolved by death; for he is always equal and eternal. Yet I will give this garment and this pearl of mine to you who ask, so that you may bring it to your daughter. But first you must know what your daughter wishes.

If she makes herself worthy of this garment and my pearl—that is, if she is unwilling to have silken, gilded, or dyed garments, if she hates every other pearl—then I will grant you what you ask of me. He exhorts his daughter to use modest garments. —After that voice, daughter, I rise up joyful, and having this secret, I have written this letter to you, begging you with many tears of mine that you reserve yourself for this garment and this pearl, and that you not make a wretched old man suffer such a loss through you, if you do not have this garment and this pearl. Moreover, I call to witness for you, daughter, the God of heaven and earth, that nothing is more precious than this garment and this pearl; and it is within your power to have it. Only do this: if ever another garment is brought to you—whether silken, or dyed, or gilded—say to the one who offers it to you: “I am waiting for another garment, on account of which my father has been so long away from me, which he seeks for me, which I cannot have if I have this one. The wool of my own sheep suffices me, the color which nature gave suffices me, inexpensive weaving suffices me; but I desire that garment which is said not to be consumed, not to wear out, not to be torn.” But if a pearl is offered to you, either to be hung from your neck or fitted to your finger, say this: “Let these useless and filthy pearls not be an impediment to me; but I await that most precious, most beautiful, and most useful one.

I believe my father, because he too believed the one who promised this to himself, on account of which he indicated to me that he even wished to die: I await this, I desire this, which will provide me with salvation and eternity. He awaits a reply from his daughter. A morning and evening hymn, for Abra, mother.—Therefore, daughter, come to the aid of my anxiety, and always read this letter of mine, and reserve yourself for this garment and this pearl. And you yourself write back to me, consulting no one, in whatever letters you can, whether you are reserving yourself for this garment and this pearl, so that I may know what to reply to that young man: and so that if you desire it, if you await it, I may joyfully think of returning to you. But when you have written back to me, then I will also tell you who this young man is, and what he is like, and what he wants, and what he promises, and what he can do. Meanwhile, I have sent you a morning and evening hymn, so that you may always be mindful of me. But if, due to your age, you understand the hymn and the letter less well, ask your mother, who wishes that she has borne you by her character for God. May God, who begot you, keep you here and for eternity, I wish, my most beloved daughter.