De Diligendo Deo [Incertus]

ON LOVING GOD, ONE BOOK. CHAPTER ONE. The way to life is charity. The manner of loving God and neighbor. With vigilant care, an anxious mind, utmost effort, and constant solicitude, it befits us to inquire into and learn how and by what way we may avoid infernal punishment and acquire heavenly joy; since neither can that punishment be avoided nor that joy be acquired unless the way is known by which that is to be avoided and that to be acquired. Let us therefore listen more willingly, let us examine more diligently the words of the Apostle, by which he himself shows two things, namely, that the life of heavenly glory is ineffable, and what is the way that leads to life: for he says, "Neither has the eye seen, nor the ear heard, nor has it entered into the heart of man, what God has prepared for those who love Him" (1 Cor. 2:9). Behold, by this, that he says God has prepared goods for those who love Him, he shows that love is the way by which those goods are reached. But love of God cannot be had without love of neighbor, as the blessed John testifies, who says: "He who does not love his brother whom he sees, how can he love God whom he does not see?" And we have this commandment from God, that he who loves God should also love his neighbor (1 John 4:20-21). Behold, in this twofold love consists true charity, concerning which the Apostle, speaking, says: "I show you an even more excellent way" (1 Cor. 12:31). Behold, charity is the most excellent way which leads to the heavenly homeland, and without which no one can arrive there.

But who is on this path? Who knows it? The one who loves God and neighbor. How is God to be loved, and how is the neighbor? We ought to love God more than ourselves, but the neighbor as ourselves. We love God more than ourselves if we set His commandments before our own will in all things. The neighbor, however, we are not commanded to love as much as ourselves, but as ourselves—that is, to will and desire every good that we ought to will and desire for ourselves, and especially eternal blessedness; and to help him attain it, both in bodily and spiritual goods, as reason demands and ability permits. Whence the Lord says in the Gospel, "Whatever you wish that men do to you, do the same to them" (Matt. 7:12); and the Apostle John says, "Let us not love with word nor with tongue, but with deed and truth" (1 John 3:18). But who are the neighbors whom we ought to love in this way? Certainly all men: Christians, Jews, pagans, friends and enemies.

CHAPTER II. Why and how God is to be loved. The love of God is aroused by the contemplation of creation. The rational creature is twofold. For what purpose it was made. Since, therefore, our entire salvation consists in love, it must be carefully considered why and how our Lord is to be loved by us. For arousing, nurturing, and increasing the love of God in us, nothing is so effective as the frequent and diligent consideration of His benefits. For He bestows so much upon us, and He repays so much, that our soul fails, it utterly fails in the contemplation of such great benefits of His. And although we cannot render to Him as much love, obedience, and thanksgiving as is fitting, yet we ought to repay as much and as great as we can. Behold why, that is, on account of His benefits, which the Lord, by His great mercy, by His gratuitous goodness, with no merits of ours demanding them, has conferred upon us, He is also to be greatly loved by us. But how God is to be loved by us, that commandment of His makes manifest, which He so greatly commanded, and so greatly wished to be observed (Psalm 118, A). Hear, therefore, O man, that greatest and first of all commandments: hear it, I say, diligently, retain it in memory, meditate upon it constantly, and according to your strength, fulfill it instantly, assiduously, and perseveringly.

This, then, is that commandment: "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with thy whole heart," that is, with thy whole understanding; "and with thy whole soul," that is, with thy whole will; "and with thy whole mind" (Deut. VI, 5, and Matt. XXII, 37), that is, with thy whole memory: so that thou may keep all thy thoughts, and thy whole life, and thy whole understanding fixed upon Him. But because perhaps thou deemest thyself too little loved by God, thou dost not fear to love Him too little in return. Search, therefore, and revolve in thy mind what gifts and benefits He has bestowed upon thee, and what He has promised: and thou wilt be convinced that thou ought to love Him exceedingly. In order that the love of God may be further aroused and increased in thee, consider diligently by whom, why, and for what purpose man was created, and what things God created for man's sake. It must be known, therefore, that the cause of created things, celestial and terrestrial, visible and invisible, is none other than the goodness of the Creator, who is the one and true God: whose goodness is so great that He wished others to be partakers of His beatitude, by which He is eternally blessed, which He saw could be communicated, but could in no way be diminished. That good, therefore, which He Himself was and by which He Himself was blessed, He wished, out of goodness alone, not out of necessity, to communicate to others, because it was of the highest good to wish to benefit, and of the most omnipotent to be unable to harm.

And because no one can partake of that blessedness except through understanding—which, the more it is understood, the more fully it is possessed—God made a rational creature, which would understand the highest good, love it through understanding, possess it through loving, and enjoy it through possessing. And He distinguished it in such a way that one part remained in its own purity, not united to a body, namely the angel; another part was joined to a body, namely the soul. Thus rational creature is divided into incorporeal and corporeal. The incorporeal is called angel; the corporeal, however, is called man, subsisting in a rational soul and flesh. Therefore the condition of rational creature has its first cause in God's goodness. Thus man or angel was created for the sake of God's goodness. For because God is good, we exist; and insofar as we exist, we are good. But for what purpose was rational creature created? To praise God, to serve Him, to enjoy Him: in which things the creature itself profits, not God. For God, perfect and full of supreme goodness, can neither be increased nor diminished. Therefore, that rational creature was made by God is to be referred to the Creator's goodness and to the creature's benefit. So when it is asked why or for what purpose rational creature was made, the answer is: For the sake of God's goodness and the creature's benefit—for it is beneficial to serve God and to enjoy Him.

CHAPTER III. All things belong to man. Therefore, the angel or man is said to exist for the sake of God, not because God the Creator and supremely blessed one has need of the service of either, for He has no need of our goods; but so that he might serve Him and enjoy Him, for to serve Him is to reign. For in this the servant makes progress, not the one who is served. And just as man was made for the sake of God, that is, to serve Him; so the world was made for the sake of man, namely, to serve him. Therefore, man was placed in the middle, so that he might be served and that he himself might serve: so that he might receive both, and the whole would flow back to the good of man, both the service he received and the service he rendered. For God willed to be served by man in such a way that by that service not God, but man, was helped: but He willed that the world should serve man, so that from this man might likewise be helped. Therefore, the whole good of man was both that which was made for his sake, and that for which he himself was made. For all things, says the Apostle, are ours (1 Cor. 3:22); namely, the superior, the equal, and the inferior. The superior things are indeed ours to enjoy, such as God the Creator Trinity. The equal things are ours to live with, namely, the Angels, who, although they are now superior to us, will be equal in the future (Matt. 22:30). And the inferior things are ours, which are for our use, just as the possessions of masters are said to belong to servants, not by dominion, but because they are for their use.

The Angels themselves are said in certain passages of Scripture to serve us, when they are sent on a ministry for our sake: whence the Apostle says, "For all are ministering spirits, sent in ministry for those who are to obtain the inheritance of salvation" (Heb. 1:14). Nor should this seem incredible to anyone, since even the Creator and King of Angels came, not to be ministered to, but to minister, and to give His life for many (Matt. 20:28). For the Angels are said to offer our prayers and vows to God: not because they teach God, who knows all things before they happen, just as He knows them after they are done; but because they consult His will concerning these matters, and what they have learned to have been fulfilled by God's command, they report back to us either clearly or secretly. Whence an angel said to men: "When you had prayed, I offered your prayer to God" (Tob. 12:12). Similarly, when we pray, we do not teach God, as if He did not know what we want and what we need: but the rational creature has need to refer temporal causes to eternal truth, either by asking what is to be done concerning itself, or by consulting what it should do. Therefore, from the high dwelling of the heavens, to console, to visit, and to help us, the surpassing love of the Angels draws them, for the sake of God, for our sake, for their own sake.

for the sake of God, of course, whose great bowels of compassion toward us they themselves, as is fitting, imitate; for the sake of us, whom they pity, no doubt, on account of our likeness to them; for the sake of themselves, whose ranks they await with all desire to be restored from us. Chapter IV. The Dignity of the Soul. It is discerned from God's love for it. All things serve it by God's gift. How the created is to be loved, how the Creator. First, then, it is necessary that each one consider himself, and when he has recognized his own dignity, that he not do injury to his Creator by loving things more abject than himself. For even those things which are beautiful when considered in themselves become vile when compared with more beautiful things; and just as it is unfitting to join ugly things with beautiful, so it is altogether indecent to equate those things which have only a certain intimate and imaginary beauty with the most beautiful. Therefore, O soul, attend to your beauty; and understand what beauty you ought to love. But if by chance your inner vision has been darkened through your negligence, and you are not sufficient to contemplate yourself as is fitting and expedient, why at least do you not weigh from another's judgment what you ought to think of yourself? You have a spouse; but you do not know it. He is the most beautiful of all; and you have not seen his face. He has seen you: for unless he had seen you, he would not love you. He has not yet wished to present himself to you; but he has sent gifts, he has given a pledge, a token of love, a sign of affection.

If you could know him, if you could see his form, you would no longer doubt your own beauty: for you would know that he who is so handsome, so comely, so elegant, would not be captivated by your appearance alone, were he not drawn by a singular and more admirable beauty than others. What, then, will you do? Now you cannot see him, because he is absent: and therefore you neither fear nor blush to do him injury, because you despise his singular love, and basely and shamelessly prostitute yourself to another’s lust. Do not do so. If you cannot yet know what kind of being he is who loves you, at least consider the pledge he has given you: perhaps in that very gift of his which is in your possession, you will be able to recognize with what affection he loves you, and with what zeal and diligence you ought to preserve yourself for him. His pledge is remarkable, a noble gift: for it was not fitting that a great one should give small gifts, nor would a wise one have given great gifts for a small thing. Great, therefore, is what he gave you; but greater is what he loves in you. Great, therefore, is what he gave you.

What has your bridegroom given you, O soul? Look at this whole world, and consider whether there is anything in it that does not serve you. Every nature directs its course to this end, that it may be a servant to your needs, and be of use to your advantage, and meet your pleasures and necessities alike with an unfailing abundance: this the sky, this the earth, this the air, this the seas with all that is in them, never cease to do; this the cycle of the seasons, renewing the old with annual renewals and reviving births, reshaping what has decayed, restoring what has been consumed, supplies a perpetual sustenance. Who, then, do you think established this? Who commanded nature that it should serve you with such unanimous consent? You receive the benefit, and you do not acknowledge its author; the gift is manifest, the giver hidden; and yet your own reason does not allow you to doubt that this is not your due, but another’s bounty. Whoever he is, he has conferred much upon us; and he who was willing to give so much, loved much. One who loves so much, and is so worthy of love, is shown by his gift. And how foolish it is not to eagerly desire the love of such a powerful one! how impious, how perverse it is not to love one who loves so much!

But if you love these things, love them as subject, love them as serving, love them as the bridegroom’s pledge, as the gifts of a friend, and as the benefactions of a lord: yet in such a way that you always remember what you owe to him; and love them not for their own sake, but for his sake, nor love them together with him, but love them on account of him, and through them love him, and above them love him. CHAPTER V. The benefits of God are enumerated. Beware, O soul, lest, which God forbid, you be called a harlot; if you love the gifts of the giver more than the affection of the lover. You do a greater injury to his charity if you accept his gifts and yet do not repay the exchange of love. Either reject his gifts, if you can; or if you cannot reject his gifts, repay the exchange of love. Love him for his own sake, love yourself for his sake: love him that you may enjoy him, love yourself that you may be loved by him. Love in his gifts what has been given by him. Love him to yourself, and yourself to him. This is pure and chaste love, having nothing sordid, nothing bitter, nothing transitory.

Consider, therefore, O my soul, what things you have received in common with all, what things specially with some, and what things alone as singular. In all these He has loved you, whether He has given them to you in common with all, or specially with some, or singularly to you alone. With all these again He has loved you, by which He has made you a sharer in His gift. Above all these He has loved you, by which He has preferred you with the singular gift of grace. In every creature you have been loved, with all good things you have been loved, above all evil things you have been loved: and lest this seem too little to you, that you have been loved above all evil things, how many good things are there who have received less than you? CHAPTER VI. The benefit of creation. The benefit of reparation. The value of man. First think, O soul, that once you were not, and that you began to be, you received this as a gift from God. Therefore it was His gift that you should come into being. But had you given Him anything before you came into being, that this should be rendered back to you so that you might be? Nothing at all, you had given nothing, you could have given nothing before you came into being. For if He had given nothing more, even for this alone He would always be praised and loved by us. But now He has given more, because He has given not only being, but also beautiful being, and comely being. But even here the munificence of the best giver could not be limited: He gave still something more, and drew us more to His likeness. He wished to draw to Himself through likeness those whom He was drawing to Himself through love.

He gave us, therefore, being, and to be beautiful, he gave also to live: that we might excel those things which are not by essence, and those which are disordered, or incomplete or uncomposed in form, or inanimate in life. You are bound by a great debt, O my soul. You have received much, and you have had nothing from yourself; and for all these things you have nothing to repay, except only to love. For what has been given through love can be repaid neither better nor more fittingly than through love; and you have received this through love. Now I shall begin to tell you how much this bridegroom of yours, who appeared so exalted when he created you, deigned to humble himself when he restored you. There so sublime, here so lowly: yet not here less lovable than there, because neither here less admirable than there. There he powerfully conferred great things upon you; here he mercifully endured dreadful things for you. For in order to raise you up to where you had fallen, he himself deigned to descend to where you lay; and that what you had lost might be justly restored to you, he himself deigned piously to suffer what you endured. He descended, therefore, he took up, he endured, he conquered, he restored. He descended to mortality, he took up mortality, he endured passion, he conquered death, he restored man. Behold, O my soul, marvel at such great wonders, such great benefits displayed for your sake. Think how much he loves you, who deigned to do such great things for you.

You had been made beautiful by his gift; you were made ugly by your iniquity. But again you were cleansed and made beautiful by his mercy, yet in both cases his love was at work. Once, when you did not exist, he loved you so that he might create you; later, when you were ugly, he loved you so that he might make you beautiful. And to show you how much he loved you, he wished to free you from death only by dying; so that he might not only bestow the benefit of mercy, but also display the affection of love. With great condescension, therefore, the pious Creator first breathed the breath of life into the first man from above. But with far greater love, for the same man, he gave not merely his own gifts, but gave and handed over himself. It is indeed a great thing from God that I feel I am his work; but it is far more that I see he himself has become my ransom; since by so abundant a gift, redemption itself is accomplished, so that man seems to be worth God. O happy fault of mine, for the washing away of which, while he is drawn by love, his very love itself is opened to me who desire it and long for it with all my heart! Never would I so well recognize his love, had I not experienced it in such great perils. How happily I fell, who after the fall rose again more happily! No greater affection, no more sincere love, no holier charity, no more ardent feeling. He died for me, an innocent, finding nothing in me to love. What then did you love in me, Lord, and love so much that you would die for me?

What have I found in you, for which you were willing to endure such harsh things for him? CHAPTER VII. On the benefit of the call to faith. And what if you begin to consider, O my soul, how many and what kind of people, in comparison to you, have been cast aside, who were unable to obtain this grace which has been given to you? Certainly you have heard, from the beginning up to this day, how many generations have passed away, all of which have slipped into eternal destruction without knowledge of God and the price of their redemption. To all of them your Redeemer preferred you, when he bestowed upon you this grace, which none of them deserved to receive. You alone have been taken up before all of them: and for why this has been done in you, you will be able to find no cause except the sole charity of your Savior. Therefore your spouse, your lover, your God, your Redeemer has chosen and pre-chosen you: he chose you among all, and took you up from all, and loved you before all. He called you by his own name, so that his memorial might always be with you. He wished you to be a participant in the name, a participant in the truth of the name: because he anointed you with that with which he himself was anointed, the oil of gladness (Ps. 44:8), so that from the anointed you are anointed, because from Christ you are called a Christian. But were you stronger, were you wiser, were you nobler, were you richer than all those who deserved to obtain this special grace before all of them?

How many strong men, how many wise men, how many nobles, how many rich men were there; and yet all were abandoned and cast aside and perished? Much, I confess, has been granted to you: for although you were formerly foul, and polluted, and deformed, and squalid, torn and scattered, and full of every horror and enormity; yet God, your Lord, so loved you that he enriched you with such great gifts of his grace. Therefore, unless you are first cultivated with great care, with vehement study, and decently adorned, you will not be worthy to be led into the bedchamber of your celestial spouse. Now therefore, while there is time, O my soul, cultivate your form, adorn your face, compose your habit, wipe away your stains, restore your cleanliness, correct your manners, keep discipline, and finally, changing everything for the better, make yourself by every effort a worthy spouse for a worthy spouse. Therefore prepare yourself as befits the spouse of an immortal spouse, the spouse of the celestial kingdom. CHAPTER VIII. On the gift of the virtues. To acquiesce in all things to God's ordinance. Know that this also pertains to love: that you have something with which you can adorn yourself; which you would certainly not have from yourself, unless you received it from him. But from him you have received that you may put on the garments of good works, and with the fruit of alms, along with fasts and prayers, with sacred vigils and other works of piety, you may be adorned or decorated as with a certain varied ornament; and whatever is known to avail for health, for refreshment, for restoring beauty, for increasing comeliness, he has abundantly bestowed.

See with what abundant provision you are everywhere met. You did not have, and it was given to you; you lost, and it was restored to you: you are never abandoned, that you may know how much He loves you by whom you are loved. He does not wish to lose you; and therefore with such great patience He waits for you: and piously grants that what has so often been carelessly lost may be repaired again and again if you wish. How many have already perished, who received these things with you, but did not merit to receive again what was lost, as you have! You are more beloved than all of them, because what is lost is so kindly restored to you, which is so strictly denied to them when lost. Never has the grace of working well been denied to you by His own generous gift. If you do great works, you are mercifully raised up; if you do not do great works, you are salubriously humbled. For He knows better than you what is expedient for you; and on this account, if you wish to think well of Him, understand that everything which is done to you by Him is done well. Such is the love of God in us, and there is absolutely nothing that human weakness endures which He, in His goodness, does not dispose to our good. Perhaps you do not have the grace of virtues; but while you are shaken by the impulse of vices, you are better solidified in humility. For a humble weakness smells sweeter to God than an exalted virtue.

Do not dare to prejudice the divine arrangement in any way; but always pray to God with fear and reverence, that as He Himself knows, He may come to your aid: if any evils still remain in you, may He piously wash them away; if any goods have been begun, may He kindly perfect them, and lead you to Himself by whatever path He wills. CHAPTER IX. On the illustration of other benefits. My soul, what shall we do for the Lord God, from whom we have received so many goods? For He was not content to bestow upon us the same goods as He gave to others; but even in our evils we recognize His singular love, so that we may singularly love Him for all our goods and evils alike. You gave me, Lord, that I might acknowledge You, and understand many of Your secrets revealed to me beyond others. You left my other contemporaries in the darkness of ignorance, and poured into me the light of Your wisdom before them. You gave me a capable mind, a ready intellect, a tenacious memory, effectiveness in work, grace in conversation, progress in studies, success in undertakings, comfort in adversities, caution in prosperity: and wherever I turned, Your grace and mercy went before me everywhere. And often when I seemed consumed, You suddenly freed me; when I was wandering, You led me back; when I was ignorant, You taught me; when I sinned, You corrected me; when I was sad, You consoled me; when I fell, You raised me; when I stood, You held me.

You have given me to know you more truly, to love you more purely, to believe in you more sincerely, to follow you more ardently. Lord God, the light of my life, the light of my eyes. What shall I render to you for all that you have rendered to me? You wish me to love you. And how shall I love you? How much shall I love you? Who am I, that I should love you? And yet I shall love you, Lord, my strength, my firmament, my refuge and my deliverer, my God, my helper, my protector, the horn of my salvation, and my sustainer. And how much more shall I say? You are, Lord, my God. CHAPTER X. — On God’s solicitude for us. What the presence of him effects in the author. Many and innumerable good things have you done for me, Lord my God, about which it will always be sweet for me to think, always to speak, always to give thanks, that I may praise and love you for all your benefits. Behold, my soul, you have your pledge; and in your pledge you recognize your spouse. Therefore keep yourself intact for him, keep yourself unpolluted, keep yourself uncontaminated, keep yourself whole. If once you were a harlot, now you have been made a virgin: just as his love is accustomed to restore integrity to the corrupted, and to preserve chastity for the chaste. Always think how great mercy he has shown with you; and in this consider how much you are loved by him, that you recognize his benefit has never been lacking to you.

Thus it certainly seems to me, when I attend to His mercies toward me, that, if it is permissible to say so, God does nothing else but provide for my salvation: and I see everything so occupied with my protection, as if He had forgotten all else and wished to be free for me alone. God always shows Himself to me as present, always offers Himself ready: wherever I turn, He does not desert me; wherever I am, He does not withdraw; whatever I do, He is equally present, and that He is a perpetual inspector of all my actions, and, as far as His goodness is concerned, an almost inseparable co-operator, He plainly shows by the very effect of His work. From this it is clear that, although His face cannot yet be seen by us, His presence can never be avoided. But what is that sweetness which is wont to touch me in the remembrance of Him, and to affect me so vehemently and so sweetly: that I already begin, in a certain way, to be wholly alienated from myself, and to be drawn away to some unknown place? Suddenly I am wholly renewed and wholly changed, and it begins to be well with me beyond what I can say. My conscience is cheered, all the misery of past sorrows comes into oblivion, my spirit exults, my intellect grows clear, my heart is illuminated, my desires are gladdened. And now I see myself to be elsewhere, I know not where, and I seem to hold something within in the embraces of love, and I know not what that something is: and yet I strive with all my might to retain it always and never to lose it.

The soul struggles, in a certain delightful way, not to withdraw from that which it always desires to embrace: and as if it has found in him the end of all desires, it exults supremely and ineffably, seeking nothing more, craving nothing beyond, wishing always to be thus. Is he the beloved? Truly he is my Lord who visits me: but he comes invisible, he comes hidden, he comes incomprehensible. He comes to touch me, not to be seen by me; he comes to admonish me, not to be grasped by me; he comes not to pour himself out in a flood, but to offer himself to be tasted; not to fulfill desire, not to exhibit the fullness of his perfect satiety. And this is what pertains most to the pledge of his betrothal: that he who in the future will give himself to you to be seen and perpetually possessed, now in some way offers himself to you to be tasted, so that you may recognize how sweet he is. CHAPTER XI. On the gift of life preserved at birth. On the granted sensible delights. On other prerogatives. Therefore your God is to be greatly loved by you, to whom he has conferred such great benefits. But so that the flame of love for him may be more kindled: consider diligently, O soul, whether besides those things which have been said above, he has conferred any benefits upon you.

When, therefore, you see that the goods here mentioned have been conferred upon you, you ought to be very grateful and devoted to him by whom these goods have been conferred upon you, and, giving thanks, to say: My God is very much to be loved by me, who, making good use of the evil of my parents, created me from their flesh, and breathed into me the breath of life; distinguishing me from those who, either aborted and cast forth from the womb, or suffocated within the maternal viscera, seem conceived for punishment, not for life. I have received, therefore, that I exist; I have received that I am a human being; I have received understanding, by which I differ from a beast. I have received the form of the body; I have received in the body the distinction of the senses: eyes for seeing, ears for hearing, nostrils for smelling, hands for touching, palate for tasting, feet for walking, and the health of the body itself. It was also a great thing that, for the delights of these same senses of mine, God created things suitable to each individual sense: many things beautifully suitable and shining, things soothing with song, things sweetly smelling, things tasting sweet, things pleasing to the touch. For by this the providence of the Creator has endowed things with such diverse qualities, that all the senses of man may find their delights. For the sight perceives one thing, the sense of smell another, hearing another, smell another, taste another, touch another. Beauty of colors feeds the sight, sweetness of song soothes the hearing, fragrance of odor the sense of smell, sweetness of flavor the taste. And who can enumerate all the delights of the senses?

which are so manifold in each individual that if one considers any person by himself, one would think each singularly enriched. How many delights of the eyes we display in the variety of colors, so many delights of the ears we hear in the variety of sounds; among which the first are the sweet exchanges of speech, by which men communicate their wills to one another, recount the past, indicate the present, announce the future, reveal the hidden; so much so that if human life lacked these, it would seem comparable to beasts. But why should I mention the concert of birds, the pleasant melody of the human voice, the sweet modes of all sounds? For there are so many kinds of harmony that the mind can neither run through them nor speech easily explain them; yet all serve the sense of hearing and were created for its delight. So it is with smell: incense has its own odor, and all things that provide a sweet scent and breathe forth pleasant fragrances serve the sense of smell and were created for its delight. In the same way, taste and touch have various delights, which can be sufficiently understood from the likeness of the former. It is certainly a great thing, too, that God created for me sound and whole limbs, so that I would not be a burden to myself nor a reproach to others. I have also received something more: a mind, namely, which can understand, which can grasp truth, which can distinguish just from unjust, which can investigate, desire the Creator, praise and cleave to him.

I also consider it a great benefit that God willed me to be born at that time and among such people through whom I would arrive at his faith and sacraments. I see that this, which I congratulate myself on having been granted, has been denied to countless men, with whom, nevertheless, we would share the same condition. They have been abandoned through justice, and I have been called through grace. I shall proceed further, even observing that it was his gift that I was raised by my parents; that the flame did not harm me, that water did not swallow me, that I was not tormented by a demon, that I was not struck by beasts, that I was not killed by a fall, that I was nurtured up to a suitable age in his faith and good will. CHAPTER XII. On the Long-Suffering of God. We are kept from sinning in three ways. On the Guardian Angel. The sinner stirs up every creature against himself. How generously God forgives. Therefore, Lord God, you have shown great piety toward me. But although you are admirable in all your works, you are believed to be even more admirable in the depths of your mercy: for you spurn no one, you reject no one, you abhor no one, except perhaps one who, being mad, has abhorred you.

These are your gifts, Lord, mercifully granted to me by you: that you have often mercifully snatched me from dangers in which I was placed, and could never be overcome so as to show me less mercy on account of my sins; that you admonished me of you when I had forgotten you, recalled me when I had turned away from you, kindly received me when I came to you, and granted forgiveness to the penitent not only for the sins I committed, but also for those which, with you protecting me, I did not commit. For whatever evil I did not commit with you protecting me is to be considered as wholly remitted by you. For just as I fell into many sins, so also I would have fallen into many more, had you not preserved me. I recall that I have been preserved from sins in three ways: namely, by the removal of opportunity, by the granting of strength to resist, and by the healing of desire. For I would have fallen into many sins if the opportunity had been given; but by God's mercy such an occasion did not seize me. I would also have fallen into many more, having been gravely impelled by the violence of temptation; but you gave me strength, Lord, so that my appetite was subject to me, and I would in no way consent to the concupiscence I felt. But from certain sins your mercy, Lord, has kept me so far that I utterly abhorred them, and not even any temptation of them would trouble me. It is indeed a sign of great goodness, Lord God, that I, who would be wretched, provoked you, did evil before you, aroused your fury, earned your wrath; I sinned, and you endured it; I transgressed, and you still bear with me.

If I repent, you spare me; if I return, you receive me; moreover, while I delay, you wait. You recall the wanderer, you invite the reluctant, you await the sluggish, you embrace the returning one, you lead the ignorant, you soothe the grieving; you raise me from ruin, you restore me after a fall, you bestow upon the one who asks, you are found by the one who seeks, you open to the one who knocks; you show me the way of living well, you give me the knowledge of walking. It is also great, Lord, that you have conferred many goods upon me before I could ask, or wish, or know. Not only that, Lord, but even after I knew and was able to ask you, to seek you, to desire you, to cling to you, you, by your gratuitous goodness, have bestowed your goods upon me when I was not asking, not seeking, not desiring, but rather even slighting or even despising them. I consider it the greatest benefit that you gave me an Angel of peace from the beginning of my birth to guard me until my end; whence a certain holy man says, "Great is the dignity of souls, that each one has from the beginning of its birth an Angel delegated to guard it" (Jerome on Matthew 18).

It was of great mercy, Lord, that your wondrous patience endured my iniquities. To you I owe thanks that you did not repay me according to my iniquities, that the earth did not swallow me, that the sky did not strike me with lightning, that the thunderbolt did not burn me, that the rivers did not drown me, nor any other punishment or death, as I deserved, did you inflict upon me. For when I, by sinning, withdrew from you, I not only merited your wrath, but also roused every creature against me. For if a servant of any master were to flee from his lord, he would not only exasperate the lord himself, but would most justly provoke the anger of his entire household. Therefore, since I offended God, the creator of all, I stirred up, as far as my merit is concerned, every creature to wrath; so that the whole world might justly fight against me on your behalf. The earth could say to me: I ought not to sustain you, but rather to swallow you up, because you did not fear to withdraw from my Creator by sinning and to cleave to the enemy, namely the devil. The sun could also say: I ought not to shine for your benefit, but rather, to avenge my Lord, who is the light of light and the source of light, to hide my rays utterly from you. Thus also every single creature would serve to avenge so great an injury against its Creator, had not he who made it restrained its onslaught—he who does not desire the death of the sinner, but that he should turn and live.

Therefore, Lord, I must all the more humble myself under your powerful hand, all the more be grateful and devoted to you and more ready to serve, the more I see myself bound by so many of your benefits in rendering an account: lest vengeance, long delayed, punish my evils by coming all the more harshly, the longer it endured what could have been punished. Consider, then, O my soul, the long-suffering of God which he displayed, the election of his predestination which he wished to be fulfilled, the excessive charity with which he loved us. For this reason, indeed, the Lord waited and watched for me: but he turned his eyes away from my sins, as if unwilling to notice how much I was transgressing. For this reason, I say, he dissembled; that he might commend his patience, fulfill his election, confirm his charity. For this reason, as I well remember, he struck my heart, rousing it so that it might notice the wounds of its sins, and feel the pain of the wounds; he also terrified me, leading me down to the gates of hell, and showing the punishments prepared for the wicked: and so that no harmful delight would remain, inspiring in me a better consolation, he gave hope of indulgence, and then conferred the indulgence itself. And thus he wholly forgave, and so liberally granted every injury, that he no longer condemns by avenging, nor confounds by reproaching, nor loves less by imputing.

For there are some who, while giving injury, do not avenge it, yet very often reproach it; and there are some who, though they are silent, still keep something stored deep in their mind, and hold rancor in their soul; neither of these, of course, is full forgiveness. Far different is the most benign nature of the divinity: it gives liberally, it forgives fully: so that, on account of the confidence of sinners, but of penitents, where the offense has abounded, grace also is accustomed to abound. Witness is Peter, to whom after his threefold denial the pastoral care of the Church was more safely entrusted; witness is Paul, who from a persecutor of the Church became a vessel of election and a leader of the Gentiles; witness is Matthew, who from the tax office was chosen as an Apostle, to whom it was also granted to be the first writer of the New Testament. CHAPTER XIII. On the gift of continence. Its triple enemy. After these things, the Lord God gave me continence. But I call continence not only from lust, but also from the other vices and sins, as is necessary. And I, who once could scarcely maintain continence for three days, afterwards, with God's helping grace, was able to maintain it for a long time. From this I find reason to be able to exclaim rightly: "Because He who is mighty has done great things for me" (Luke 1:49). Perhaps someone considers continence a small thing; but I do not. For I know what opponents it has, and how great the virtue must be to be able to resist such things.

The first enemy of our continence is our own flesh, lusting against the spirit. What a domestic enemy, what a dangerous struggle, what an intestine war! This most cruel enemy we can neither flee, O my soul, nor drive away: but we must carry it about, since it is bound to us. But what is more dangerous and wretched than that we are compelled to sustain our enemy, and it is not permitted to destroy him? You see, therefore, how carefully you must guard yourself from her who sleeps in your bosom. Yet this is not my only adversary; I have another, who has surrounded me and besieged me on all sides. This enemy is the present wicked world, which through five gates, namely the five bodily senses, wounds me with its darts, and death enters through my windows. The third enemy is the ancient foe of the human race, the old serpent more cunning than all living creatures: this is the enemy whom we can neither see, much less guard against? This enemy now openly and violently, now secretly and fraudulently, but always maliciously and cruelly, attacks and persecutes us. And for enduring these things, not to say overcoming them, who is fit? I have said these things so that the difficulty of continence might be known, so that we may know what things have been given to us by God (1 Cor. 2:12): and through this, we may love him the more who has bestowed this virtue upon us. For we do this virtue entirely in the Lord, and he reduces to nothing all who trouble us.

It is this which not only crushes our flesh with its vices or lusts, and the present evil age with its curiosities and vanities, but also Satan himself under our feet with its own temptations. For did I not rightly say that I must find in continence a reason to cry out, "What great thing has the powerful one done for me?" CHAPTER XIV. The hope of eternal life rests on three things. After this, the Lord God gave me the grace to merit the goods of eternal life, which grace I believe consists chiefly in three things: namely, in hatred of past evils, in contempt of present goods, in desire for future ones. Then He gave me the hope of obtaining them, which hope consists in three things; three, I say, which so strengthen and confirm my heart that no lack of merits, no consideration of my own worthlessness, no estimation of celestial beatitude can cast it down from the height of hope when it is firmly rooted in them. Do you desire, O my soul, to know what these are? I consider three things on which my whole hope rests: namely, the charity of adoption, the truth of the promise, the power of the fulfillment. Let my foolish thought now murmur as much as it will, saying: "For who are you, or how great is that glory, or by what merits do you hope to obtain it?

And I will answer confidently: I know what I believed, and I am certain, because God adopted me in exceeding love, because He is truthful in His promise, because He is powerful in its fulfillment: it is permitted to Him to do whatever He wills. For these reasons, therefore, my God is to be loved. CHAPTER XV. On the benefits conferred. Confession is to be made to God both in good things and in bad. But it was of great grace—that God pursued me, His fleeing servant, and caressed me when I was fearful; that He raised me up, so often despairing, into hope; that He overwhelmed me, ungrateful, with His benefits; that He drew and enticed me, accustomed to unclean pleasures, by the taste of inner sweetness; that He dissolved the indissoluble bonds of evil habit, and, having withdrawn me from the world, kindly received me. Still, my soul, consider those gifts of divine goodness of which you alone are conscious: with how joyful a face Christ met you when you renounced the world, with what delights He fed you when you were hungry, what riches of His mercies He showed, what affections He inspired, with what cup of love He inebriated you. Great also was this: that He did not leave me, His fleeing and rebellious servant, called only by His mercy, without a share of spiritual consolations. For if I was tempted, He sustained me; if I was in peril, He raised me up; if I was saddened, He comforted me; if I wavered, He steadied me. How often, when I withered with fear, He, the pious comforter, stood by; how often, when I burned with fear, He poured Himself into my very vitals.

I also consider how often He illuminated my spiritual senses with the light of understanding while I was singing or reading, how often He swept me up into an ineffable longing for Himself while I was praying, how often He transported my mind, withdrawn from earthly things, to heavenly delights and the pleasantness of paradise. I pass over many and great works of His mercy toward me, lest any glory, which is entirely His, should seem to pass over to me. For in the estimation of men, the grace of the giver and the happiness of the receiver so cohere that not only is he praised who alone ought to be praised, namely the one who gave, but also the one who received. For what does anyone have that he did not receive? Or, why is he who received freely praised as if he had deserved it? Therefore praise to You, my God, and glory to me, thanks to You; but to me, confusion of my face, who have done so many evils and received so many goods. See therefore, O my soul, that the goodness of God is greatly commended not only by His generosity, but also by our iniquity. For if it is great to bestow much upon those who deserve nothing, how great and how much will it be to repay good to those who deserve evil? How great a piety, which no impiety can overcome! Some things are those which God mercifully forgives, others which He abundantly bestows. He forgives our evils, He bestows His goods: always ready to forgive, always prepared to bestow: from this side pious, from that side generous; on both sides kind, everywhere good. Therefore let us confess our evils to Him, let us also confess our goods.

Let us confess that our evils are from ourselves, so that He may piously forgive; let us confess that our goods are from Him, so that He may preserve and increase them. Therefore let us do this incessantly, lest we appear ungrateful, either for the pardon granted or for the grace bestowed. This, I say, let him do who believes himself to be, or desires to be, a lover of God. For true love always confesses. What then do all these things, when diligently considered, accomplish, except that they snatch away the mind of the one considering, completely withdrawn from every other love, and vehemently affect it, so that it is carried away to love God, who has wonderfully bestowed these things? But if anyone does not see all these goods as conferred upon him by God, and therefore is not afraid to love Him too little, let him know for certain that there is no one who, if he seeks, does not easily find for what he is most indebted to God, for what he ought to love with all his strength, with all the marrow of his heart, and for what he ought also to render continuous thanks. Therefore let him to whom some goods necessary for salvation are lacking neither murmur against God nor accuse Him; because God does everything with the most certain and most just reason, He who has mercy on whom He wills and hardens whom He wills (Rom. 9:18), who is both able to bestow His gifts when He wills, and to take away what has been bestowed when He wills. Therefore let him who does not have these things grieve, and labor and pray that he may have them; for the goods received, let him be grateful to God.

CHAPTER XVI. On the Benefit of Redemption. Earthly and Heavenly Goods. Therefore great and many, indeed truly innumerable, are the benefits which you, Lord God, have conferred upon me; for which I rightly must always love and praise you. For what good do I have or have had, or will have, that is not from you, the highest good, from whom all that is good is both named and proceeds? But there is one thing that more than all these inflames, urges, moves, and impels me to love you: above all, I say, you are rendered lovable to me, O good Jesus, by the most shameful and bitter death which you suffered, the work of our redemption. This alone entirely claims for itself our whole life, our whole labor, our whole service, our whole love, in short: this, I say, is what both better excites our devotion, and more sweetly nourishes it, and increases it more. For the author of the world labored greatly in this work, nor did he undergo such great fatigue in all the fabrication of the world. For concerning the world and those things which are in the world, he spoke, and they were made; he commanded, and they were created (Psalm 32:9): but for the redemption of the human race he underwent great, many, and long-lasting labors and pains. Behold how he loved us, who, with no necessity of his own, but solely out of his love for us, endured such harsh and unworthy things. Therefore I have rightly said that this one surpasses all other benefits.

Indeed, while it is a great thing for someone to bestow his goods upon another freely, it is certainly far greater to give himself. And while it is a sign of great charity to give one's life for friends, it is a sign of far greater charity to lay down one's life for enemies, which the Son of God did for us. For when we were enemies of God, we were reconciled through the death of His Son. Scarcely does anyone die for a righteous man, but He died for the wicked, the just for the unjust, that He might offer us to God; He became an exile from heaven, that He might lead us back to heaven. What ineffable piety, what ineffable sweetness of charity, what astonishing condescension of charity it was, for God to become man for man. For God to put on flesh for man, to die, to be tempted in all things for the sake of likeness, yet without sin! Behold at what price and with how great labor man was redeemed, who was justly owed to the devil; who, if he were not redeemed, would without doubt be eternally damned with the devil. And I have said this so that man may understand how much he ought to love God; how patiently, indeed willingly, not only this, but even ardently, to endure labors and pains for Him, who endured so many and such great things for him. For through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of heaven (Acts 14:22). Therefore, let my soul embrace you, Lord Jesus, crucified; let it take a draught of your sweetest blood; let this sweet meditation occupy my memory, lest oblivion entirely obscure it.

Let me know nothing except Jesus Christ, and him crucified, lest vain error lead my knowledge away from the solidity of faith. Let this wondrous love of yours claim for itself all my love, lest worldly desire swallow it up. For the mind which the sweetness of your charity, Lord, has filled, is not constricted by fear, not stained by lust, not torn apart by anger, not puffed up by pride, not inflated by the empty smoke of vainglory, not agitated by fury, not gutted by the goad of ambition, not contracted by avarice, not cast down by sadness, not consumed by envy: in short, no vice corrupts it, while it persists immovably in that same sweetness. Therefore, what does one who gives so much in the present promise to his own for the future? What he gives in the present are temporal things; but what God promises to give to his own in the future age are eternal things, and incomparably better than temporal goods. For temporal goods are acquired with difficulty, and once acquired, they easily slip away; and even when possessed, they are kept with grave anxiety, lost with grief, and when lost, recovered with great labor. But the goods of the future age are never lost, never diminished; they are possessed with joy and quiet; they are always had, always desired, and never cause disgust. Once someone has received them, he will be as secure that he will never lose them as he is certain that he will never wish to lose them.

CHAPTER XVII. The Promises of God. They cannot be desired too much. Therefore God is to be greatly loved in his promises: he has given us great things, but promised greater. He promised us rest from labor, freedom from servitude, security from fear, consolation from sorrow, resurrection from death, and in resurrection full joy, the highest joy, and unfailing. Finally, he promised us himself, as he swore to our fathers that he would give himself to us (Luke 1:75). Great, therefore, are the promises of God, and ineffable; and for these, and in these, he wishes to be loved by us in some way. If you seek the measure, vehement desire for the promise is the measure of love. The promise of God, however much it is desired, is desired less than it ought to be. For however much one has advanced, he owes more. Therefore vehement desire in some way has no measure, since it cannot be excessive. While in other matters impatience is usually blamed, in expectation of such a promise, vehement impatience at the delay is praiseworthy. Since the one who loves more, and who desires more, is more tormented by impatience at the delay, hope that is deferred afflicts the soul; but all these goods are possessed in the heavenly homeland. Therefore, concerning that good, which is the highest of all goods, what and of what kind it is must first be said.

CHAPTER XVIII. The Nature and Magnitude of the Joy of the Elect. The Minds of the Blessed Will Be Open to One Another. Their Bodies Will Be Whole. Let us therefore arouse and raise our entire intellect, insofar as God has granted, and let us consider what and how great is that unique and singular joy of the elect, namely, the one and highest good, which is life, light, blessedness, wisdom, eternity, and many goods of this kind; and yet it is only the one and highest good, entirely self-sufficient, needing nothing, which all things need in order to exist and to exist well. This good is God the Father, this is the Word, that is, the Son of the Father; this same is the one and common love of the Father and the Son, namely, the Holy Spirit proceeding from both. Moreover, what each single person is, that the whole Trinity is together, Father and Son and Holy Spirit: because each single person is nothing other than the supremely simple unity and the supremely one simplicity, which can neither be multiplied nor be one thing and another. Furthermore, one thing is necessary (Luke 10:42). Furthermore, this is that one necessary thing, in which is every good: indeed, which is both every good, and one good, and the whole good, and the pure good. For if individual goods are delightful, think attentively how delightful is that good which contains the pleasantness of all goods, and not such as we have experienced in created things, but as different as the Creator differs from the creature. For if created life is good, how good is the life that creates?

If the health that has been made is joyful, how joyful is the Health that made health? If the wisdom that comes with knowledge of created things is lovable, how lovable is the Wisdom that created all things from nothing? Finally, if there are many and great delights in delightful things, what kind and how great is the delight in the one who made all delightful things? He who enjoys this good, what will he have, and what will he not have? Certainly, whatever he wills will be, and whatever he does not will will not be. For there will be goods of body and soul such as neither eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man (1 Cor. 2:9). Why, then, do we wander through many things seeking goods of our body and soul? Let us love the one good in which are all goods, and it suffices. Let us desire the simple good which is every good, and it is enough. For what do you love, O flesh? What do you desire, O soul? There is whatever you love, whatever you desire. Therefore, no one clothed in flesh can speak or think or understand the goods of the heavenly kingdom as they are: for they are far greater and better than what we think or understand. For the kingdom of God is greater than any report, better than any praise, more innumerable than any knowledge, more excellent than any glory that is thought to be. The kingdom of God, I say, is full of light and peace, charity and wisdom, honor and glory, sweetness and love, joy and everlasting blessedness, and of every ineffable good, which can neither be spoken nor thought.

Nevertheless, I must not remain silent, but speak as much as I am able, for I cannot speak as much as I wish. For although we believe God is ineffable, we ought not to refrain from speaking of Him as we can. Thus it is fitting that more be believed about that life than is written, because speech cannot convey as much as the mind can grasp, and the human mind's comprehension, however profound, grasps less than the magnitude of the thing itself. Therefore, let the future life be believed to be blessedly everlasting and everlastingly blessed: where there is certain security, secure tranquility, tranquil joyfulness, happy eternity, eternal happiness; where love is perfect, fear is none, the day is eternal, motion is cheerful, and there is one spirit of all, secure in the contemplation of its God and in its abiding with Him; where the city itself, which is the blessed congregation of all Angels and saints, shines with gleaming merits; where eternal health abounds, truth reigns; where no one deceives, nor is deceived; whence no blessed one is cast out; where no wretched person is admitted. This is the blessed contemplative life, to which those who have attained through the completion of good works will be like the blessed, and will reign together with God without end.

What they have believed here, they will see there: contemplating the substance of their Creator with the purest hearts, they will rejoice with eternal exultation, and by the possession of divine charity and mutual love they will cleave to their God forever, and to one another. Having received their bodies with incorruption and immortality, they will obtain the citizenship of the heavenly fatherland, and, having become its citizens forever, they will carry off the promised rewards. There such great joy will abound for them, such great grace of celestial joys, that they will give thanks to their Rewarder for such great gifts, and will suffer no weariness from that abundant perception of graces and goods. There the minds of each will lie open to each other just as bodily faces are subject to bodily eyes; for the purity of human hearts will be so great and so perfect there that they will have reason to give thanks to their Purifier, not reason to blush from offense at any filth of sins: because there there will be no sins, nor sinners; and those who are there will no longer be able to sin. Nor will anything secret be hidden from the perfectly blessed, who—what is far more excellent—will see God Himself with pure hearts; since that human creature will be so perfect that it cannot be changed further for better or for worse.

Of that human substance raised to the likeness of its Creator, all the goods which it had naturally received and corrupted by sinning will be restored for the better: that is, intellect without error, memory without forgetfulness, thought without wandering, charity without pretense, sense without offense, soundness without weakness, health without pain, life without death, ease without hindrance, satiety without disgust, and total health without disease. For whatever here in human bodies has been taken away by the bites of wild beasts, or by unforeseen accidents, or by various kinds of diseases, or has been cut off by human cruelty, or fire, or any other thing has inflicted some debility, or even old age itself has denied what is burdensome to the weak—these and similar damages to bodies will be repaired by the one resurrection there, and those bodies, restored in all their members, will be held by incorruptible health. Therefore, whoever will be there, even if they differ from one another by their merits, will all nevertheless be blessed in that perfection; because their own rewards will be sufficient for each. For just as bodily satiety holds all who are satiated equally, although each has taken food not equally but according to his capacity, so all the saints, even if they are distinguished by some diversity of their ranks, will be perfected in one blessedness; because they will be blessed in one perfection.

Moreover, in that region of such great blessedness, they will not arrogate anything to themselves of greater merit, because there will be no arrogance there; nor will the lower envy the higher, because it will be impossible to be envious there. And therefore, even if there is a distinction of mansions there, there will be in them the highest equality of a single perfection, for whom there will be one happiness of the heavenly kingdom.