Oratio secunda

Second Prayer of John Chrysostom. Lord my God, great and awesome and glorious, creator of all visible and intelligible creation, who preserve your covenant and your mercy for those who love you and keep your commandments: now and always I thank you for all your benefactions to me, both manifest and hidden. And up to this moment I praise and glorify and magnify you, for the ways in which you have made your abundant mercies and compassions wonderful upon me, having supported me from my mother's womb, and having provided for me in all things, preserving and governing my affairs holily solely through your goodness and love for humanity. For you did not overlook my lowliness on account of my unworthiness and passion, but through your love for humanity and compassion you did not cease to benefit and provide for me. And until old age and advanced years, my God, do not abandon me, Jesus Christ, the beautiful name, my sweetness, my desire, and my hope; you who became incarnate for us, and endured death by crucifixion, and arranged and ordered everything in wisdom for the sake of our salvation. I confess to you, Lord my God, with my whole heart; I bend the knee of body and soul, declaring to you, my God, all my sins. Bend your ear also to my supplication, and forgive the impiety of my heart. I have sinned, I have transgressed, I have offended, I have provoked, I have embittered my good Master and nourisher and guardian.

There is no form of vice, spoken or unspoken, which I have not committed in deed and word, in knowledge and ignorance, in thoughts and intentions, having sinned to excess upon excess; and having promised many times to repent, I have fallen into the same things just as many times. More easily could raindrops be counted than the multitude of my sins; for they have overtopped my head, and have weighed heavily like a burdensome load. For from my youth until now, having opened a door to improper desires, I have used unbridled and disorderly impulses, staining the garment woven from above of my holy baptism, soiling the temple of my body, defiling my wretched soul with the passions of dishonor, and perpetrating every other lawlessness and injustice; of which, if I should wish to recall them in detail, time will fail me as I recount them. But since you yourself know all things (for no creation is hidden before you, but all things are naked and exposed to your eyes), why must I speak to one who knows what is not unknown to you? Yet my heart is crushed, and the very bones of my soul, and I sink entirely into a depth of perplexity, reflecting that having sinned such and so many things, I have shown not even a small work of repentance; and the time of the cutting is near, and the deadline of death stands at hand, but the time of repentance is nowhere. Therefore my soul is disturbed, and is full of pain and dejection.

For I am unprepared and unready, and as I examine and scrutinize my own affairs, I find nothing sufficient for a defense, nor any means or device by which I shall be delivered from the eternal fire. For if the righteous man is barely saved, where shall I, the sinner, appear? And if the kingdom of heaven is allotted to the worthy through many afflictions, and the path of life is narrow and constrained, how shall I, who am given over to pleasure and debauchery at all times, be deemed worthy of salvation? And if all human righteousness is like a cast-off rag, what will such great filth and injustice be reckoned? If even for an idle word an account must be given, what plausible defense shall I have for so many sins? Alas, my soul, that our affairs have come to such a pass! Life is short and full of vicissitudes, swiftly passing and hastening toward death; eternal is the punishment of sinners, as is the kingdom of the righteous, and the life of both is not cut short by death. What then shall I do? What shall I accomplish? Into what abyss shall I hurl myself? For death is fearful, and especially the death of sinners, since it is also evil; for the death of sinners is evil. And the terrors after death are fearful, but far more fearful is falling into the hands of the living God, from which no one is able to deliver. When, therefore, he comes to be glorified among his saints, and to render to each according to his works—

when the thrones are set, and the incorruptible Judge sits in terrible judgment, and the river of fire draws near before me, and the radiance and joy of the righteous are prepared, and all the myriads of angels, and all the people from the beginning of time, and the whole creation together, both visible and intelligible, stands trembling—what shall I then do, filled with shame, condemned by my own conscience, deprived of all boldness and defense? Groans from every side. Woe for my evils! What shall I first lament? What shall I second bewail? What shall I mourn? The loss of good things, or the pain of sufferings? The endlessness of punishment, or the separation from God? Weep, wretched soul, pondering these things, and what will meet you after the departure, how grievous and painful they are, and cry out: God of the powers, eternal God, God of mercy and compassion, do not abandon me, do not overlook me, do not withdraw your mercy from me; attend to my help, Lord of my salvation.

For even being in such a state and thinking in such a way, I do not renounce good hope, nor do I despair of my salvation. For I know the compassion of my Master, I know the forgetfulness of wrongs of the Lover of mankind, and that He is a desirer of mercy, not wishing the death of the sinner, but rather that he should turn and live, wishing all to be saved and to come to knowledge of the truth, and especially those turning away from sin. For you did not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. For the healthy have no need of a physician, but those who are ill. Now I have begun to speak to my Lord: I am earth and ashes, a worm and not a man, a reproach of men and an object of contempt of the people. Give me a word at the opening of my mouth, You who give prayer to the one who prays, because from You every good gift and every perfect present comes down from above, from You, the Father of lights; so that I may both pray worthily and entreat advantageously. Let me not be turned away humiliated, put to shame, but obtaining what I have hoped for; and thus I will depart rejoicing in the assurance of my heart. Have mercy on me, O God, according to your great mercy, for my soul trusts in you; have mercy on me, Lord, for I am weak, O physician of souls and bodies. As one standing before your fearful tribunal, as one touching your pure feet, so I beseech and implore and entreat with a broken and humbled heart.

Be gracious to me, the sinner; forgive me, the worthless and humble; look down from your holy dwelling upon my wretchedness; gaze from your holy heights upon the prayer of your humble servant, and do not disregard my supplication; grant me respite, that I may catch my breath, before I depart to that place from which I shall no longer return. As a man I have sinned; as God, forgive; for you know, Master, the slippery nature of the human condition, and that the mind of man is diligently set upon evil from youth. Remember that we are dust; remember that you alone are pure, undefiled, and unstained, while we are all under penalties; remember your compassion and mercy from eternity, and do not condemn me along with my transgressions, nor repay me according to my sins. You know the multitude of my transgressions, that it is great and not subject to number; but I also know the ocean of your love for mankind, that it is incomparable and invincible. For you are the one who takes away the sin of the world, who descended from heaven to earth to seek the wandering and lost sheep; the good shepherd, who lays down his life for the sheep, and came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the first. Have mercy, have mercy on the work of your hands; do not abhor me, the unworthy one, but pity your creation, who for my sake endured the cross and accepted the marks of the wounds, but having healed, erase everything with the remedy of compassion and the sponge of your love for mankind; for you can do all things, and nothing is impossible for you.

Pierce my hardened heart, lighten the burden of my conscience, accept my tears and my groaning, as you accepted those of the harlot, as you accepted those of Peter, the chief of the apostles. Accept this small confession and repentance of mine, you who accepted the gratitude of the thief on the cross. Accept the fruit of my lips as a living sacrifice, pleasing, for a sweet fragrance. I beseech you, be entreated; I implore you, be moved. That king Manasseh also sinned, but he did not perish after repenting; David before him also sinned, but having bewailed his sin, he was shown mercy. I have many such examples that comfort and console my despondency, driving away despair from me, and nourishing my hope of salvation. Comfort my heart as well, you who are the Father of mercies and God of all consolation; lead my soul and make it glad, you who are the fountain of mercy and of good things. You have done many great and wondrous, glorious and extraordinary things from eternity, which are beyond number; but if you save me, the prodigal, if you present me, the unworthy, you will be more and even more marveled at; for such is the power of your mercy and philanthropy, that you can make a pearl from filth, and from one who is a son of Gehenna, you can make a son of a kingdom. And again I will cry out to my Lord, and I will pray to my God: steer the remainder of my life according to your will; establish me in your fear; strengthen me in your love, and in the abundance of your goodness.

Grant me a good end worthy of your loving-kindness, and look upon my bones, my joints, and the entire composition of my being with your mercy and loving-kindness; and having guided my wretched soul to a place of relief and rest, restore it there, for there are many abodes distributed by you to each according to merit. I further entreat and implore: grant, O Lord, also a grace of understanding to my unworthiness, to conceive what is pleasing to you and beneficial to me, and not only to conceive, but also to accomplish—not to be swept away and carried off by vain things, not to do what is improper, to humble myself without vainglory among the humble, to sympathize with those who suffer, and to forgive those who sin. For I know that unless I forgive, I will not be forgiven. Therefore, I implore, forgive everything to all who sin against me; for they are not responsible, but I am the wretched one, who does not do your will and does not keep your commandments. Reward those who love us with your abundant gifts; and my spiritual father and the brothers whom you have given, O compassionate one, with judgments that you know, mercifully pity and have mercy on them along with me. Let these words of my prayer intercede for me both living and dead; let this confession and these tears be offered before you like incense; and I await daily the inevitable death. And my wretched body, given over to burial, will be destroyed and into the elements from which

that which was composed will be dissolved, which you, the life-giver, will raise up incorruptible at the time of regeneration. And I place my spirit into your hands. Give rest, holy Master, in the light of the living and in the dwelling of those who rejoice, to my parents, ancestors, and brothers, your grateful servants. For even if we have sinned, we have not withdrawn from you, nor have we stretched out our hands to a foreign god, but we have known you, and we have loved you, and we have believed in you, and we worship you, the one God in Trinity, and in you we pray, and in you we hang our hopes of salvation. Have mercy on us according to your great mercy, and save us into your heavenly and eternal kingdom. Yes indeed, my Lord, Lord, let these things be so among us who hope in you because of your great and unsurpassable goodness, and because of your ineffable compassion and love for humanity, through the intercessions of our most glorious, most hymned, most blessed, and grace-filled lady, the most holy Theotokos and ever-virgin Mary, of the heavenly and noetic powers, and of all who have pleased you from eternity. Amen.