Non esse desperandum

On the need for no one to despair of themselves, nor to curse their enemies, nor to give up when they do not receive what they ask for; and to men concerning peace with their wives. 1. I have many thanks to give you, because you received the discourses on prayer with eagerness, because you made me blessed. For blessed is the one who speaks into the ears of those who listen. I was convinced not only by the applause and the praises, but also by what I saw you doing. For when I exhorted you not to curse your enemies, and I said that we provoke God by doing this, and that we legislate against him (for he himself said, "Pray for your enemies," but we, by cursing our enemies, ask him to repeal his own law)—when, then, I said these and similar things, I saw many among you striking your faces and breasts, groaning bitterly, raising your hands to heaven, asking forgiveness for such prayers. Then I too, raising my eyes to heaven, gave thanks to God that the word of teaching had so quickly borne fruit for us. For such is spiritual seed: it does not require years, nor seasons, nor days, but if it takes hold of a noble soul, it immediately shows the ear of grain ripe and complete. This is what happened yesterday on your part. I sowed a word of compunction, and it sprouted a groan of confession, a groan rich in good things.

If that tax collector, in order to beat his breast and say, "Be merciful to me, the sinner," went away justified more than the Pharisee, how much confidence is it likely for us to acquire, having displayed such great compunction in a short time? And yet nothing is worse than a tax collector; for this is the ultimate limit of wickedness. This is what Christ also indicates, constantly bringing prostitutes and tax collectors as examples of the worst evils. For it is a shameless violence, an unrestrained robbery, a brazen form of greed, a business without reason, a shameless trade. But nevertheless, the one who lived with so many evils was able to cast off the reproaches by mere words and to receive more than he asked. For he himself deemed it fit to say, "Be merciful to me, the sinner," but God not only was merciful, but also justified him more than the Pharisee. That is why Paul says, "To the one who is able to do everything, beyond what we ask or think." And yet the Pharisee prayed, stood in the temple, called upon the same God, spoke more words, and began his prayer with thanksgiving. Why then did that one lose even the good things he had, while this one gained confidence he did not have? Because the manner of the prayer was not the same. For the one was full of arrogance, pride, and folly, while the other was full of great gratitude. Therefore, this one, though burdened with countless sins, laid them all aside and received righteousness; while that one, having brought his ship full of good deeds, almsgiving, and fasting, dashed it against the rock of vainglory and pride, and suffered shipwreck in the very harbor.

For to suffer loss in prayer is to endure a shipwreck in harbor. But this has not happened because of the nature of prayer, but because of his own choice. 2. Do you see how prayer is not sufficient for our salvation, unless we pray according to those laws which Christ has established? And what laws has he established? To pray for enemies and for those who cause much grief. And if we do not do this, we are utterly lost; and this is clear from the example of the Pharisee. For if he, who did not curse his enemies but only vaingloried himself, paid such a penalty, what punishment awaits those who utter long and many words against their enemies? What are you doing, man? You stand asking forgiveness for your sins, and you fill your mind with anger? When we ought to be gentler than all, when we are speaking to the Master, pleading for our own transgressions, asking for mercy, philanthropy, and forgiveness, then we become savage, fall into bestiality, and fill our mouth with bitterness? And how, tell me, shall we be able to attain salvation, putting on the appearance of suppliants, but bearing words of madness, and provoking the Master against ourselves? You entered to heal your own wounds, not to make those of your neighbor more severe; it is a time of propitiation, a time of prayer and groaning, not of anger; of tears, not of wrath; of compunction, not of indignation. Why do you confuse the order? Why do you war against yourself? Why do you demolish your own building? The one who prays must, above all else, have a gentle mind, a composed intellect, a contrite heart.

But one who cries out against his enemies could never achieve this; for he is filled with anger and is not able to have a composed mind. Let us not, therefore, curse our enemies, nor even recall our own achievements, lest we suffer what the Pharisee did. For just as it is good to remember sins, so it is good to forget achievements. Why? Because the memory of achievements lifts us up to pride, while the memory of sins composes the mind and humbles it; and the former makes us more careless, the latter makes us more diligent. For those who think they have nothing good become more eager to acquire good things; but those who consider that they have stored up a great store of goods, confident in its abundance, would not show great zeal to acquire more again. 3. Do not, therefore, remember your achievements, so that God may remember them. For it says, "Speak your sins first, so that you may be justified." And again: "I will not remember your transgressions," it says; "but you remember." But why did God so quickly hear the tax collector, yet leave Isaac to beseech and entreat him for twenty years concerning his wife, and only then yield to the prayers of the righteous man? For I must give you the remainder of yesterday's teaching. Why then did this happen? So that from the case of the tax collector you might learn the philanthropy of the Master, who quickly heard, and from the case of Isaac you might learn the patience of the servant, who received slowly and did not desist from supplication.

so that, even if you are a sinner, you may not despair, and even if you are righteous, you may not be puffed up. The strong have no need of a physician, but those who are ill do. The tax collector was ill; therefore he quickly reached out his hand to him; but Isaac was stronger, and for this reason he let him be, in order to increase his endurance. But let this be said by us as a digression. Why the woman was barren, it is necessary to say, so that when you see a Virgin becoming a mother, you may not disbelieve; so that when the Jew says to you, How did Mary give birth? you may say to him, How did Sarah give birth, and Rebecca, and Rachel? For when some marvelous and great miracle is about to occur, many types run before it. And just as when a king enters, soldiers run before him, so that the king may not be received suddenly and unpreparedly, so also when a paradoxical miracle is about to occur, types run before it, so that we, having practiced beforehand, may not be suddenly astounded, nor be thrown into confusion by the paradoxical nature of what happens. This is also the case with death. Jonah ran before, and trained our understanding. For just as he after three days

The sea monster vomited him up, not finding in him its own proper and suitable food; for the proper and suitable food of death is the nature of sin. From that source it was born, from that source it was rooted, from that source it is nourished. Just as with us, when we swallow a stone unknowingly, at first the power of the stomach attempts to digest it; but when it finds that the food is foreign to it, after it has dealt with it at length by its digestive power, it does not destroy that stone, but loses its own strength, so that it can no longer retain even the previous food, but, having become weak, vomits that food out together with it, with great pain. So also it happened with death. It swallowed the cornerstone, and was unable to digest it; all its power was weakened; therefore, together with it, it cast out the rest of the food it had, vomiting up the nature of human beings. For it will no longer be able to retain even this to the end. For this reason also the barren women ran ahead, so that the birth might be confirmed; or rather, not only so that the birth might be confirmed, but if we examine accurately, we will find that even the barrenness of death itself is a type.

4. But pay attention, for what will be said is subtle; we are about to explain how the barren womb of Sarah leads us by the hand to faith in the resurrection. How then does it lead us? Just as she, being dead, rose by the grace of God and brought forth a living body, that of Isaac, so also Christ, having died, was raised by his own power. And that this interpretation is not forced, listen to Paul himself speaking. For after saying concerning Abraham that he did not consider the deadness of Sarah's womb, but was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God and being fully assured that what was promised was possible for him to do—that is, to cause a living son to be born from dead bodies—then, leading us by the hand from that to this faith, he added: "It was not written for him alone, that it was counted to him, but also for us." Why? "Because," he says, "it is to be counted to those who believe in the one who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead." And what he says is this: He raised Isaac from dead bodies; so also he raised the Son, who had become dead. Do you wish to learn that the barrenness was also a symbol of another thing? The Church was about to give birth to the multitude of the faithful; so that you might not disbelieve how the barren, the unfruitful, the sterile one gave birth, the naturally sterile one preceded, preparing the way for the sterile by choice, and Sarah became a type of the Church. For just as she, being sterile, gave birth in old age, so also she, being sterile, gave birth at the end of the ages. And that this is true, listen to Paul saying: "We are children of the free woman.

For since Sarah is a type of the Church, the free woman, for this reason he added, "We are children of the free woman." And again: "Therefore, brothers, we are children of promise, like Isaac." What does "of promise" mean? Just as nature did not bear him, so nature did not bear us, but the grace of God. And again: "The heavenly Jerusalem is free, which is our mother; this is the Church." For you have come to Mount Zion, he says, and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and the Church of the firstborn. If, then, the heavenly Jerusalem is the Church, and Sarah is a type of the heavenly Jerusalem, as he said, "There are two, one giving birth to servitude, which is Hagar; and the heavenly Jerusalem is free, which is our mother," it is clear that Sarah is a type of the heavenly Jerusalem with respect to childbirth and barrenness. 5. I know that what has been said is rather subtle; but if we grasp it, nothing of what is said will escape us. These words, then, are more mystical and doctrinal; but if you wish, I will also speak more ethically along with them. The woman was barren, so that you might learn the husband's self-control: that he did not cast her out, although nothing at that time prevented him.

of law, nor did he take another and bring her in alongside the free woman—which many do, under the pretext of begetting children, fulfilling their own licentiousness, casting out some and bringing in others; some even arm themselves with concubines and fill their houses with countless conflicts. But that righteous man was not like that; rather, he remained devoted to the wife allotted to him by God, and he besought the Master of nature to correct the bonds of nature, and he did not reproach his wife. And how do we know that he did not reproach her? From Scripture itself. If he had reproached her, Scripture would have said so too, and would not have kept silent; for it recounts both the achievements and the failings of the righteous, so that we may flee the latter and emulate the former. For instance, when his son's bride Rachel lamented to him, and he rebuked her, Scripture set down both and did not conceal it. For after she said, "Give me children, or else I will die," what does he say? "Am I God, who has deprived you of the fruit of the womb? Give me children." The request is womanish and irrational. Do you say to your husband, "Give me children," bypassing the Master of nature? For this reason he too, answering more sharply, checked her irrational request and taught from whom one ought to ask. But not so here; neither did he say anything of the sort, nor did she lament and mourn to him. From this we are taught self-control and faith. For his beseeching God shows his faith, and his not casting out his wife makes his self-control evident to us.

neither did he reproach her, nor give up hope; and this reveals his endurance, his wisdom, his great gentleness, and his affection toward his wife. For he did not, as many do now in such circumstances, resort to sorceries and incantations—those superfluous, useless, harmful things that destroy the soul—but, setting all these aside and laughing at all human contrivances, he fled to the Master of nature, the only one able to set these things right. 6. Hear this, men; be taught, women; let us all imitate the righteous man. Let nothing be more honorable to a woman than her husband, nothing more desirable to a man than his wife. This holds together the life of us all—the harmony of wife with husband; this holds together the whole world. For just as when the foundation is shaken, the whole building collapses, so when marriages are in discord, our entire life is overturned. Consider: the world is composed of cities, cities of houses, houses of men and women. If, then, war breaks out between men and women, war has entered the houses; when these are disturbed, cities are thrown into upheaval; and when cities are in strife, the whole inhabited world must be filled with turmoil, war, and conflict. For this reason God has made great provision for this matter; for this reason he does not permit a man to cast out his wife, except for adultery alone. What then, someone says, if she is abusive, if she is wasteful and extravagant, and has countless other faults?

Bear everything nobly, and do not cast aside because of faults, but correct the faults. For this reason you hold the place of the head, that you may know how to tend the body. For our own body, even if it has countless wounds, we do not cut off the head. Therefore, do not cut off your wife from yourself either; for the wife is in the order of the body for us. For this reason the blessed Paul also said: Men ought to love their wives as their own bodies. And the same law applies to us toward wives: Love your own head, O wife; and if you honor, honor the husband thus; for it is not in vain that we make such a great argument about this matter. I know how many good things result from a wife not being at variance with her husband; I know how many evils are the basis when these are at odds with each other. For then neither wealth, nor good children, nor many children, nor office and power, nor glory and honor, nor luxury and extravagance, nor any other prosperity could ever delight a wife or a husband, when they are at strife with each other.

Let us, then, before all else, be zealous in this. Does the wife have faults? Do what Isaac did: beseech God. For if he, by the steadfastness of prayer, loosened the blindness of nature, much more shall we be able to correct faults of will, if we continually call upon God. If God sees you enduring for the sake of His law and bearing your wife’s transgressions nobly, He will join with you in the teaching and will give you a reward for your patience. For what do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? Or what do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Do not grow weary, do not despair. It may happen that she is saved; but if she remains incorrigible, you have not lost the reward of your patience. If you cast her out, you have first sinned in one thing: transgressing the law, and being judged an adulterer before God. For whoever casts out his wife, it says, except for a reason of fornication, makes her commit adultery. Often, too, having taken another woman more troublesome than the first, you have wrought the sin but have not enjoyed rest. And even if you take a better one, the pleasure from the second is not left pure for you because of the dismissal of the first, which is accounted to you as adultery; for to dismiss the first wife is adultery. Therefore, when you see some difficulty arising, either in marriage or in another state of affairs, call upon God; for this alone is the best solution to the terrible things that befall us. Indeed, the weapon of prayer is great. This I have said many times, and I say now, and I will not cease saying it.

Even if you are a sinner, look to the publican who did not fail, who washed away so many sins. Do you wish to learn how great prayer is? Friendship with God does not accomplish as much as prayer. And this is not my word; for I would not have dared to declare so great a thing from my own opinion; listen from the Scriptures how. What friendship did not accomplish, prayer accomplished. "Who among you," he says, "has a friend, and coming says to him, 'Comrade, lend me three loaves,' and he, answering, says to him, 'The door is shut, the children are on the bed; do not give me trouble'? For I tell you, even if because he is his friend he will not give to him, yet because of his importunity he will give to him whatever he needs." Do you see how, what friendship did not prevail to do, this importunity did? For since he was a friend making the request, lest you think that he accomplished it because of this, he said, "Even if because he is his friend he will not give to him, yet because of his importunity he will give to him." "Even if friendship will not effect this," he says, "yet importunity will effect it, what friendship did not prevail to do." And where did this happen? In the case of the publican. For the publican was not a friend of God; but he became a friend; so that even if you are an enemy, by importunity you will become a friend. Consider also the Syrophoenician woman, and listen to what he says to her: "It is not good to take the bread of the children and give it to the dogs." And how did he do it, if it is not good? By importunity the woman made it good; so that you may learn that what we are not worthy of, we become worthy of, through importunity. 8. I said these things so that you may not say, "I am a sinner, I am without freedom of speech, I do not have prayer.

That man has parrhesia who does not think he has parrhesia; just as he who thinks he has parrhesia has lost parrhesia, like the Pharisee. But he who considers himself cast off and without parrhesia, that man will especially be heard, like the publican. See how many examples you have: the Syrophoenician woman, the publican, the thief on the cross, the friend in the parable who asked for three loaves, and succeeded not so much through friendship as through persistence. Each of these, if he had said, "I am a sinner, I am disgraced, and therefore I ought not to approach," would have accomplished nothing more. But because each of them looked not to the magnitude of his sins, but to the wealth of God's philanthropy, he took courage, he dared, and being a sinner he asked for more than his own worth, and each accomplished what he wished. Therefore let us remember all these things and keep them, and let us pray continually, with sobriety, with confidence, with good hopes, with great zeal. With as much zeal as others pray against their enemies, with that same zeal let us pray both for our enemies and for our own brothers, and we shall certainly obtain all that is beneficial. For the giver is philanthropic, and we do not desire to receive as much as he desires to give. Knowing all this, even if we are carried down to the deepest abyss of evil, let us not even then despair of our own salvation, but let us approach with good hope, persuading ourselves that we shall certainly obtain what we ask, if we ask according to the laws laid down by him.

To the one who can do everything beyond what we ask or conceive, Christ the All-King, our God, belongs all glory, honor, and worship, together with the Father who is without beginning, and the all-holy and life-giving Spirit, now and always, and unto the ages of ages. Amen.