In illud Credidi propter quod locutus sum

Of Saint John Chrysostom: On the phrase "I believed, therefore I spoke." They say that the bee, with its light wings, alighting upon trees and flowering plants, and plundering without harm the moisture lying in the forms of the flowers, procures from there the sweetest honeycomb for men. Such are the teachers of the Church: with the light wing of the mind, alighting upon the verdant spring of the Scriptures, and drawing the moisture of the spirit lying in the letter, they gently pour the sweetest honey of faith into the hearts of their hearers. Come then, beloved, let us also, imitating the bee and warming our mind with the rays of the sun of righteousness, hasten with warm spirit to the most flowery meadow of psalmody. For what did the psalm just chanted say to us? "I believed, therefore I spoke." And what power does the saying have? It is necessary that we, drawing the honey-dripping thought lying in the depth of the letter, mix for all you who thirst, as far as we are able, a drinkable stream of speech.

I believed, therefore I spoke. Just as those who wish to narrate something to others about some matter first become assured themselves and thus begin to teach the matter in detail, so also the prophet, about to teach us, first becomes assured himself concerning the existence of God and the hope in Christ laid up for men; he says: I believed, therefore I spoke. For it was not safe for him, not having first believed and been assured concerning the things he was about to narrate, to begin teaching; therefore he necessarily prefaces by saying: I believed, therefore I spoke. And what did I believe? I believed that God is Father of Christ, not creator and maker, but begetter; and having been assured of this, I believed, therefore I spoke; nor did I investigate the nature of God, what kind and how great it is, but I believed that Christ is the Son of God, born ineffably from the Father before the ages, and having been assured of this, I believed, therefore I spoke. But even if the Jews have this psalm, they cannot sing it in truth; for they did not believe that God is Father of Christ nor did they know that Christ is the Son of God; for if they had known, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory. Even if the Eunomians and Arians have this psalm, they cannot sing it in truth; for they did not believe that God is begetter of Christ, but creator and maker, nor again did they believe that Christ is the Son of God, saying that he is a creature and a product; and by rejecting Christ they reject the Father. Listen to the Scripture saying:

If one does not have the Son, that one does not have the Father either. I believed, therefore I spoke. Even if the Macedonians possess this psalm, they cannot sing it in truth; for they did not believe that the Holy Spirit, which proceeds from the Father ineffably, is God; and not having the Holy Spirit, they do not have Christ either. Listen to Paul saying: If one does not have the Spirit of Christ, that one is not his. Therefore everyone who believes rightly in Father and Son and Holy Spirit says this: I believed, therefore I spoke. Let us also see the next verse, what it intends to say: after "I believed, therefore I spoke": But I was humbled exceedingly. To one who does not understand, the verse seems inconsistent; but if each of us understands, just as David understood, he speaks about God and about himself: But I was humbled exceedingly. Having beheld with the eyes of the heart the inexpressible and indescribable majesty of God, that as much as the heaven differs from an ant, so much does God differ from that man, and having understood this and been struck with awe, he says: But I was humbled exceedingly. Abraham also, beholding this, that in comparison with God he himself is earth and ashes, said: But I am earth and ashes. For the proud, not knowing God, do not even know themselves, what they are; for how will one who has not first recognized the creator recognize himself, that he is a creature? And that pride arises from not knowing the Lord, let Scripture bear witness for me, saying: The beginning of pride is not knowing the Lord; for from the one who made him his heart departed. Not such is David.

But knowing that God will not despise a crushed and humbled heart, he humbled himself in order to be exalted; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted. So great a good is humility, that our Lord himself humbled himself and, wishing to lead us to the likeness of his own humility, says: Learn from me, that I am meek and humble of heart. I believed, therefore I spoke, but I was greatly humbled. I said in my ecstasy: Every man is a liar. And how do we hear that Job is a truthful man? For God bears witness to him, saying: Have you attended to my servant Job, how there is none like him in all the earth? A man blameless, righteous, truthful, refraining from every evil deed? If, then, Job is written as truthful and is witnessed by God, how does David say, declaring against all: But I said in my ecstasy: Every man is a liar? To this we will say that, as in comparison with other men Job was truthful, so in comparison with God even he was a liar.

For no one is clean from filth, not even if his life is but a single day. And if no one is without sin, it is clear that no one is truthful, except God alone. Similarly, we hear that Barnabas is good; as far as comparison with other men goes, we know him to be good, but as far as comparison with God goes, even he is not good; for no one is good except God alone. And just as at evening one calls a star bright in comparison with other stars, but when the sun appears no one would call the star bright because the surpassing radiance of the sun obscures the star's brilliance, so also we say a man is true and good in comparison with others, but in comparison with God he is not a true man; for every man is a liar. But come, beloved, let us turn the discourse, so that we may find another grace of thoughts shining in it. And I said in my ecstasy: every man is a liar.

Blessed David, who as a child was fond of learning, as a youth industrious, and in old age a philosopher; blessed David, being a lover of God and wishing to behold God with the eyes of his heart, what he is like, having gone outside of fleshly desires and with his mind having run through the air and peered above the clouds and leaped over the heaven and flown past the angelic powers and penetrated into the very immaterial and most pure form of God and beheld that radiance and the lightning of the divinity, which is an incomparable majesty, and having understood that no human being nor any human tongue is able to describe the greatness of God, having come into such an ecstasy and having learned precisely, he confidently declares, saying: "But I said in my ecstasy: every man is a liar." But come, let us again turn the pearl of discourse and illumine our mind with the inherent radiance of the Spirit. I know, beloved, even an experienced farmer who from one field in a year takes three crops; let us therefore also imitate the farmers, with the mattock of

we dig the spirit, according to the prophet who says: "By night I communed with my heart, and my spirit dug." First, then, we considered a verse of the text; we took the second; let us now consider the third: "And I said," he says, "in my ecstasy: 'Every man is a liar.'" Observe for me every man sketching for himself many years of life, wishing to build and to plant and to rear his children and to take action against those who wrong him, and promising to avenge himself on his enemies, to imprison, to bind, to exile, or to do something else more severe, and after not long, on that very night or after two or three days, dying; and you will see how every man is a liar: for what he promised, he did not do. But every man who loves this life is a liar, while the man who pursues this life in virtues is not a liar; for such a one is not a man, but a god, not by his own nature, but by the grace of the one dwelling in him, such as were Paul and Peter, who had Christ speaking in them; for these were not liars, but truthful; nor were they men, for they had a divine spirit speaking in them. These cared nothing for money, nothing for possessions; for how could they care, when it was said to them: "Do not acquire gold or silver or bronze for your belts"? Neither did they threaten to avenge themselves on enemies; for they had no enemies. For they kept the Lord's command saying: "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." These did not sketch many years of life for themselves;

For each of them said: "I die daily, by your boasting." Listen to the apostle saying: "As deceivers and truthful, as dying and behold we live." For as far as appearance goes, we are deceivers; for we appear as men; but as far as the proclamation of the heart and of conduct goes, we are truthful. And dying and behold we live. For as far as our intention goes, we die each day, but as far as the Lord's faith goes, we live. Then after this: "And I said in my ecstasy: Every man is a liar," he adds: "What shall I give back to the Lord for all that he has given back to me?" The prophet, having beheld the gift given from the beginning by the Lord and being at a loss for the repayment of the good things given to him by God, says: "What shall I give back to the Lord for all that he has given back to me?" He stretched out the heaven for me, adorning it with light-bearing stars; he fixed the sun for me, weaving it around with golden rays; he founded the moon for me, night-traveling, illuminating the dimness of night, charioteer of sailors and wayfarers; he spread out the earth for me, thickening it with all kinds of fruit-bearing and fruitless trees, adorning it with flower-bearing plants; he enclosed multitudes of fish-bearing waters into one gathering; he prepared springs of salt-bearing and sweet-bearing waters to gush forth from their own depths as a remedy for thirst for men. So, at a loss for all these benefactions, the prophet cries out, saying: "What shall I give back to the Lord for all that he has given back to me?

But considering more deeply and spiritually, the prophet David, beholding the future benefits to be given to man in Christ, proclaims them as already present, saying: "What shall I render to the Lord for all that he has rendered to me? For taking dust from the earth, he molded me and brought me from non-being into being, honored me with his own image, clothed me with angelic glory, and when I was undone by death through transgression, he came and recalled me again. What shall I render to the Lord for all that he has rendered to me? He slew the serpent-dragon that was against me, himself becoming the bronze gates of death in Hades, he shattered them and crushed the iron bars. What shall I render to the Lord for all that he has rendered to me? When I was cast out from the luxury of paradise, he brought me back in, not by my righteousness but by his grace. He opened the gates of heaven for me, promised the kingdom of heaven, and raised up for me a ladder from earth to heaven—faith. What shall I render to the Lord for all that he has rendered to me?

But he granted me even more than these: for my sake he endured spittings and slaps, for my sake he wore a crown of thorns upon his head, he drank vinegar mixed with gall, for my sake he suffered many things, so that he might drain the bitterness and evil of death that was prepared. What shall I render to the Lord for all that he has rendered to me? Having sought much and ranged about in thought, and finding no recompense worthy of God, the prophet, seeing one thing in the matter of martyrdom, adds, saying: I will take the cup of salvation and I will call upon the name of the Lord. And this cup signifies the passion of Christ. For, Father, if it is possible to pass by this cup, let it pass by. We have many cups written in scripture: a golden cup of Babylon, it says; nations drank and were intoxicated. Babylon also has a golden cup, but it does not have good drink in it; for the golden cup of Babylon was, understand for me, the most beautiful discourse of the Greeks wise in their own conceit, having within a deadly mixture, the teaching of idolatry.

But the one who prays in the psalm does not seek such a cup, but rather the cup full of endurance and struggle, sealed in the name of the Lord, from which he who drinks, filled with the joy of the Holy Spirit, will be placed in the holy chorus of the martyrs; in Christ Jesus our Lord, to whom is the glory and the power unto the ages of ages. Amen.