Discourse 69

As it is fitting for the solitaries to be in silence. St. Listen, my beloved: to what I say to you out of love. If you wish that your labors not be vain and your days idle, and that you be delivered from the excess of what is fitting for the solitaries in the conduct of silence: let your entrance into silence be with discernment, and not with the impulse of zeal. Do not be like the many, but let your mind be set on this: that at its proper time you will complete the labors of its conduct. And inquire of those who are good at discerning, from experience, and not from reading alone. And be instructed in all the wonderful and free discernments of silence. And do not rest until you have encountered all the paths of its service. And every step you take, you should examine whether you are walking on the path or have deviated from it by one of the paths that lead to ruin. And do not believe that from labors alone the perfect conduct of silence is accomplished. If you wish to attain by your experience what your fathers found, let there be for you signs and tokens secretly in yourself at every step you take, so that from them you may know the truth of your fathers or the error of the tempter. The small things, however, from which you may become wise in your path, are these.

When your silence is such that you see your mind can freely be agitated by its own movements in stillness, and there is no hindrance to its authority over any of the motions, know that your silence is true. And again, when you serve in discernment, your service to the stranger is as much as you are able; from silence the word is cut off from your tongue, and it casts upon your prayer the seals of silence beyond freedom. And this is fitting for stability: know that before you, you come in your silence, and the simplicity of the beginning is embraced. For simple silence in the monastery diminishes its possessor. And every simple practice, like a solitary member, is considered separated from the root among the wise in discernment. And again, when you see yourself, in every thought that is stirred within you, at every moment and in the visions of silence, the chambers of your eyes are filled with tears, and you bring your hands from them without hindrance, know that the beginning of the door is before you in the dwelling of the opposite.

And if you are able, at times your mind enters within you without the agitation of external things upon it, beyond the usual order, and it remains still from time to time and for a while as it is; and after that you see your limbs as if they were in great weakness, and silence rules over all your thoughts, and that in a profound way: know that the beginning of true silence has come upon the vessel. If, however, you act in silence, you find yourself ruled by alien thoughts, and as if by a chain you are led by them at every moment, and the course of your mind is at all times among those things of which you have made use from before, or the desire for vain pursuits: know that you are acting in silence in vain, and you are wasting yourself in idleness. And there are causes from without, or the disturbance of inward passions. But the remedy is: vigil and quiet. And set straight and establish your intention. If, however, you enter into that immediately in the days, you cannot have silence from the pain of the passions; do not be amazed. If, however, the depth of the world which they have made from the rays of the sun, after a long time remaining in it, their tranquility is established.

and again the scent of aromatics and the fragrance of spices that is diffused in the air. For a long time it remains until it is dissipated and passes away, more than is usual. The pains, like dogs, have become accustomed to the butcher for the sake of what? When they have been prevented from their usual courses, they stand at the door while they are hungry, until the force of their first habit is dissipated. When the calming that endures in your soul begins from within you, and you turn to the hidden things, and the dark house is near to being filled, these near signs in your state you perceive secretly. In your faith you will be amazed. And in the visible things you will be deceived. And your trust will be diminished. And in your nearness you will be lacking. And your soul will become full of the lower air in mouth and heart, concerning every human and desire and the classes that are in them, you will encounter in thoughts and feelings, and also concerning the Most High himself. And you will fear from the heaviness of the body, on account of which the soul has become small and has ruled over you at all times. And at times your soul will be agitated with fear, as if from your shadow you are terrified and frightened.

For it is not that which is the foundation of the inner confession that I speak of here, but rather that manifest power which, by the light of the mind, supports the heart, and by the testimony of the vision, moves in the soul a great trust in God. It is not that the care of its standing should be upon it, but that it should cast its care upon God without any anxiety at all. When again it comes before you manifestly, even here these luminous signs, as if approaching, you shall perceive in yourself. By hope it shall be strengthened in everything, and by prayer it shall become rich, and the fullness of abundance from your mind shall not be lacking in whatever you encounter, and you shall perceive by the pure spiritual power. For from one side of this, from the height you shall be crowned; on the other side, the sorrows of your neighbor shall be healed by your eyes. And the desire for departure from the body shall be for you, by the impulse of the proximity of those in whom it is destined that they shall be. And all the grievous events of the adversaries against you, openly and in secret, you shall find that they are all with you, with all the certainty that is far from deception. And over everything, you shall offer thanksgiving. These are signs for the vigilant, and for those who are constant in quiet, and for the certainty of behaviors that desire to attain.

The refuges: do not rely on certain knowledge and the powers of the senses. For even from the gifts of the hidden ones, keep your distance. When one of these begins to dwell in your soul, at that very hour, to whichever side it begins to incline, for immediately it is known from which assistance it is.