Discourse 49

On the Hesitation of That Mournful One: That It Should Be in Silence, for Those Who Are Governed by the Discipline of Knowledge. For, in a time of affliction more than anything, the laying on of the hand is helpful. And even this, that you may not be able to approach this and be constrained by it, is a battle of Satan. It is right for you to strive against this. For Satan knows the help that comes from the laying on of the hand; because with all his might he strives that he not leave you to approach. And when you approach to fall upon your face, he disturbs you. And even if you have conquered him and placed the hand, he hinders you from persisting in it. And even if your limbs are cold and dull, you delay in the laying on of the hand. And even if your heart is cast down in these times, and you have no prayer, and you do not know what to say, and words of petition come to you, and not supplication, and yet you are found when you have cast yourself on your face in silence, and even if you have been silent. When you have ascended upon the help of something from God and have been revealed, you do not receive a response. But you approach God in prayer with humility and with fervor by night and day, when you groan toward him in pains, but you think that he from his own will has given to you. He who is changed in cause, that you might be changed toward him, in that he is to be entreated, he lets you go.

and that one who hesitates to be saved: that he should knock at his door in prayer, and be occupied with his aids. But when the causes of aids come upon him, he receives them and they remain, and they give themselves to weight and to humility and to cutting off. And more than cold water. In all the evils and trials that come upon you, whether from within or from without, behold, the way of prayer is before you. Fall upon your face even for one day, while you appease God with the pain of the heart. And God, who is merciful and good, will not delay in giving comfort and rest, when he sees that with the pain of the heart you appease him; unless you depart from the way and ask. And all your life, thus you have to do. You take, and you lose. And again you appease with pain, and he gives to you. And again, it goes from you. And you now encounter something while you hope, and this is the end of all. And when you seek it, again in one other hour it is not there. Thus this discipline is ordered: do not be cut off. In the sacrifice of darkness, that thick one which rests upon the soul. Beware of the cutting off of hope. Hear me, my brother: like a mother against her birth pangs, struggle, so that you do not go out from your cell. And like a man who endures demons.

He is greatly exercised, indeed, by the enemy more than anything, to drive you out from your cell. On account of impatience, at the time of prayer. And everything that hinders you from going out, as though, when you remain, you might approach to receive the blessing. He greatly fears, more than anything, this practice.