Discourse 39

Again, counsels that assist love. [Section 39.] Lovers of the hardships that are for the sake of the good: like the good itself. There is no one who can take up a firm renunciation, except one who has decided in his mind to endure afflictions easily. And there is no one who can endure afflictions, except one who believes that there is something that is better than bodily pleasures, which he is about to receive in exchange for afflictions. Everyone who prepares himself for renunciation: first, compassion for afflictions is stirred in him, and then the thought enters him of stripping himself of what he has. And everyone who approaches afflictions: first, he is confirmed in faith, and then he approaches afflictions. One who, when he has stripped himself of desires, has not stripped himself of the senses in sight and hearing: he prepares for himself intense afflictions, and is intensely afflicted. But one who, when he has been restrained from need by the senses, takes pleasure in them: they, while they suffer from the pains in them, those which from before were habitually active. For the memory of their habits is not erased from the mind. Now, if the forms of the thoughts are rational, afflictions for a human being are without desires: what shall be said about the nearness of being?

It is a beautiful thing that knows solitude and is a good helper: it silences thoughts in a manly way, and through endurance it calls forth strength. And great profit teaches a man, through the practice that makes him accustomed to the constriction of hardships, which is found in it with difficulty. Do not seek counsel from anyone who is not of your own mind in conduct, even if he is very wise. The simple person who is submissive to the passions is more trustworthy than a wise man who speaks from experience, apart from the experience of them. What is experience? Experience is not this: that a man enters and touches the passions, while not taking knowledge of their advantages and disadvantages, and offers sacrifice and remains in them. How many times do the faces of the passions show signs of disadvantage, while within them a treasure is found that fills with advantages. In this very moment, and that which is opposite to this, it is thus understood. There are also many who, from passions of advantage, suffer disadvantage. And not even these are a true testimony of their knowledge. But it is one who knows how to discern the passions through the endurance of discernment. Because of this: not everyone is trustworthy to give counsel, but only one who first has conducted himself well, and has knowledge of experience in every passion, and does not love himself, and does not depart from the boundaries.

For whenever the path of your discipline is found for you in a time without change, it removes you far from the path of divine ways, from the beginnings of the dwellings of the saints. For the more you are established in the path that leads to the kingdom, and by practice approach its proximity, this will be your knowledge: that difficulty of trials will increase for you. And the more you approach, the more you will enter into trials. For thus: whenever your soul perceives difficult changes in its path, know that at that time your soul has received a change of rank in secret, and the increase of the gift has come to it, according to the order in which it stood. According to the greatness of the victories, so does God bring the soul to the severity of trials. But if there is a soul that is weak, and is not sufficient for a very severe trial, God wisely lowers it to it, so that just as it is not sufficient for a great trial, neither is it for a great victory. As the greatness of the trial is withheld from it, so also the greatness of the victory is withheld from it. God does not give the gift of a great and severe trial to a small one. Therefore, trials are measured by the measure of victories. Indeed, from the fact that the difficulties before you have been removed, you will know the quantity of the greatness that your soul has received.

in the furnace of suffering: a trial. What then? A trial: and then a gift. Or a gift: and then a trial. For a trial does not come, except that the soul receives a great hidden thing upon its first measure, and receives the spirit of deposit in the vessels. We have an example of this from the trial of our Lord. Thus also of the apostles. For they were not permitted to enter the sanctuary until they received the Paraclete. Those who participate in goodness ought also to endure trials along with goodness, its consolations. Thus it seemed good to the venerable one in all things, God. And when thus, the perception of the trial precedes the perception of the gift, because of the freedom of its sanctuary. Never does grace come to a person before the taste of trial. In being, it is prior. In perception, however, it is later. In short, it is right that these two things be with you in times: two opposites that are not alike. What are these? Joy and fear. Joy, because on the path of the beginning of the callings, the giver of life of all is found guiding you, as from the signs of trials. Fear, however, lest from the cause of height you be caught in these. The humble are made wise by grace to discern the distinctions of these.

Now these: the trials of the high peaks, from the fruits of the one who swallows from love. For the trials that are for the training of conduct are distinct from those that are from forgiveness. For the striking of the taking of the heart, the trials are for those who are under the rod of the fathers for the training of the soul. These are the ones that are examined and chosen and become a victory. These are: sickness, heaviness of the body, the beginning of the limbs, cutting, confusion of thought, bodily pains, the cutting off of the hope of a full term, the darkening of thoughts, the constriction of the natural vein, the need of bodily want, and the rest. From these, a person stands, the soul humbled and subdued, and the heart dead. And he is chosen from these by the mercy of the love of the Creator. These, according to the power that the steward distributes to the need that is in them, to the one who receives. And in these are mixed: sorrows and afflictions, light and darkness, battles and help. And as in a crucible: it presses and expands, for this is the sign of the training of help.

trials, however, which are of forgiveness, are those which, before that sweetness which does good deeds, make one hasten to be received in their thought, and to become a plunderer of his good deeds in a high manner. These are the open trials of demons, beyond the boundaries of the natural powers, when they are hidden from the rational power that is in them. The sharp sensation of the movements of victory, which, like the striking of their reception, is left in it. The madness against wrath, before will: the love of victory in words, oppression, a wandering heart, complete error of mind, blasphemy against the blessed one's honor, foolish thoughts that fill with laughter. But the filling of weeping, madness from the evil ones, the cheapness of dignity, insults in many agreements from demons, in secret and in public. The love of mixture and the turning of the world, the slow escapes of clever words. New findings from oneself, along with false visions. And many confessions beyond power. And also in these of the body: the depth of difficult and perplexing events, not of nights to be solved. The deep encounters of evil men and without God. The fall from the hands of evil men.

The moving of the heart, in the fear of God, is the cause of my silence. And how many are the precious falls from the rocks, and the high places and the rest, as if to the breaking of the body itself. The necessity of the heart from the hope which is upon divine vanity, and the trust of his faith. And as in the passages, all the impossible things and those above strength are preserved for him and these are with him. All these which I have arranged, from the matter of the signs of high silence. These, the beginning of which is shown in man, from when he begins to be wise in the eyes of his own soul. And he is carried in all these evils, according to the measure of his being seized by this thought. Now, from the distinction of your signs, you stand upon the sharp paths of your mind. If, however, you see something from these which are mixed in that, know that as the quantity from these, so also the hope is sealed completely. Again, also hear another sign. All difficulties and afflictions, however, with which patience is not, their abandonment is narrow. The patience of a man is worthy of his afflictions. The smallness of the soul, however, is the mother of abandonments. Patience is the mother of the blessed. Strength is something which is born from the breadth of the heart.

It is difficult for a man to find this from himself in his afflictions, apart from the gift of God, which is obtained through the vehicle of the prayer of petition and the shedding of tears. But when God wishes that a man be pressed further, he abandons him to the hand of pettiness of soul. And this is what gives birth in him: the hidden power of cessation, that which is tasted by his hand, the spiritual law, the taste of which is the taste of Gehenna. From here, then, the spirit of doubt keeps watch over him, from which are born thousands of disturbances: by night, angers, blasphemy, instability, inequality of thoughts, wandering from place to place, along with other things like them. If you should say: What is the cause of all these? I say to you: You yourself. Because you have not applied yourself to seeking out the cause of their cure. The cure, then, of all these is one. By its hand, a man can at once find healing within himself. What, then, is this? Humility of heart. Apart from this, however, that a man might set a limit to these evils, he cannot. Rather, they are more readily found by those who are awake to them. Do not be angry with me that I speak the truth to you: that there is no end to this in your soul.

And if you desire, follow after it, and you will see how it gives the solution to your evils. From the measure of your humility, patience in your afflictions is given to you. And from the measure of your patience, the burden of them is lightened from yourself, and you will be exercised in their hardships. And from the measure of that exercise, your love for God increases. And from the measure of your love, your spiritual joy increases. For those who are sinners, the merciful Father, when he wishes to breathe into them with his gifts, does not take them away from them, but finds patience for them through gifts. And all these good things they receive through her, for the perfection of their souls. So also Christ, by his grace, made us worthy to endure evils for the sake of his love, with thanksgiving of the heart. Amen.