Memra 20: On the Difficult Steps that are on the Road of the City of Our Lord

Memra 20: On the Difficult Steps that are on the Road of the City of Our Lord Three very difficult steps there are on this road that leads to the city of our Lord Jesus. The first is this: that a man should become an enemy to his enemies while he does not hate the enemy, nor is he vexed with the enemy; he goes to the face of those who are his enemies and the adversaries of the Magian and the Chaldean astrologers. The second is this: that a man should not labor for the sake of the adornment of his soul or for the sake of the clothing of his body, and that he should be separated from everything that is his. And the third is this: that it is fitting for men to raise their hands purely before the Lord without anger and without evil thoughts. Now this, when their heart is pure from sin, as the heart of our father Adam was pure before he transgressed the commandment. That step, then, where a man tends to the enemies of the Magian with humility—a man ascends it with much fasting and with powerful and vigilant prayer. That step, then, where a man does not acquire and does not labor—upon the hope of our Lord a man ascends it: if he ascends, he ascends; and if he descends, he descends. Now this is not from our Lord and from the chaste circle and from clothing in a beggarly manner. And if a man dies, he dies; and if he lives, he lives; and by no means does he cease from the discipline of this great road. For the sake of adornment, therefore, and clothing, upon this hope a man ascends in this step.

The second step is very difficult, for it places in a person’s mind the thought of despair, because he casts himself into death, as our Lord said: that he who destroys himself for my sake will find me. This is the second step, by which a person ascends and reaches the city of our Lord Jesus Christ. This is more difficult than all the steps, for in it a person goes to slaughter, and in it a person stands up to blood in the contest against sin. There are, however, many steps on the path of our Lord, those which are written above, and all of them are difficult, for a person ascends them all through endurance. But these three are very difficult. And this is the second step: that a person uproots all the commandments, he uproots all sin, and its thoughts and its fruits from the heart—that sin which was established in the father Adam and the mother Eve on the day they sinned and fell and came into all their children. This step is very difficult. For as it is near to the city of our Lord, so it is difficult and dangerous, for unless a person ascends it through affliction, he does not ascend it.

If he ascends it, then that man conquers and is delivered from captivity and death. Thus there are men who pursue these steps, and when they reach this step, they are astonished and remain because of its difficulty, and they begin to descend opposite the city of our Lord and do not enter within it, because they tremble from the difficulty of this step, or they turn back to their own place, or many remove themselves far from the vicinity of the city of our Lord, that city in which he dwells manifestly with his saints. This step is difficult, moreover, because a contest takes place in it of a man against sin, and because if he ascends this step, he enters into the house of our Lord. Sharply and strongly it stands before him: either it kills or is killed. For this reason also that athlete who sees it standing strongly before him, so that he may not pass into the place which our Lord has given him, strongly approaches it and makes a contest against it. And concerning this step Paul said: You have not come to killing and you have not stood in contest unto blood against sin. Therefore, the leaves of the tree are dry, and its branches and thorns are spread out, and you have not yet approached the root, and you do not know how difficult it is to uproot it.

Now then, do not even look at the sins that are visible, for they are the leaves, branches, and thorns of sin that you have conquered. When you reach the root, then you will see the killing and the struggle that sin and the forces of Satan wage against you, as it is written: "From without, the warrior; from within, fear. From without, the forces of Satan do battle; from within, sin stands in struggle." All of this, then, is difficult—this ascent—because there the root uproots a person to the hidden death, that which Adam tasted by transgressing the commandment, and to all the thoughts of sin, that which is reckoned within the human mind as everything that it devises, as our Lord said: "In the heart are all the thoughts of killing, adultery, false witness, and all the evils that a person commits." From within and from without, this sin strikes him, which is the death that our parents Adam and Eve tasted by transgressing the first commandment. For however much a person commits outwardly, the evil deeds of that which sin devises within him are many; sin is not difficult for him, for from within it is abundant.

When then will he cease his external works and struggle and conquer the evil spirits that fight with him outwardly, and cease these visible sins? Then he reaches that inner root which puts forth shoots inwardly and strikes outwardly many, as Paul said: "Behold, how the root of bitterness puts forth shoots and harms many." So then, a man traverses all the steps of the road of Our Lord Jesus and comes to make war and slaughter on this last step. That one who ceases all the sins that are seen, when he has humbled and loved, comes to make war and slaughter and a great struggle at the root of sin itself and of its thoughts. If, then, a man uproots sin and ascends beyond these steps of which I spoke, then he enters and becomes with Our Lord in spirit and rebels against Our Lord, as the prophet said: "A strong tower is the name of the Lord God, and to it the rich and the poor run." For a man reaches the city of Our Lord who has ascended this step. That one, when he has uprooted the entire root of sin and its fruits that stand against him—because this sin stands before him at the gate of this step, so that unless Our Lord comes and saves him, he does not pass; and unless it be through a great war, a man is not saved. For this step is difficult, in which all the powers of a man, of body and soul, are exhausted.

Also understand this, my brothers: that unless a person fulfills all the commandments, as our Lord and his apostles did and as our Lord commanded to be done, he will not be able to cut off all the shoots, both external and internal. And unless a person is filled from our Lord, his heart is not satisfied from sin and from its fruits. Therefore, by the killing of sin and by that humiliation, asceticism, love, holiness, humility, and by these practices which our Lord showed to be done as he did, the son of man stands and receives that life which Adam had before he sinned, and at the completion of this ascent he enters into the time of the house of his life. And just as when this thought of sin and its fruits was in him, he was struggling to uproot and kill and expel from the paradise of the kingdom, so when sin and its fruits, which are all that is evil and foul, are removed from him, he enters into the interior of the kingdom. For labor and evil desire are also its fruits. For by the transgression of the commandment the house of Adam fell into these; otherwise they would have left the wealth and stability of the earth and all its beauty, as they were from the beginning. Because through these the evil one deceived the son of man from the beginning and cast him from perfection, as our Lord said: "Unless you turn and become as you were before you sinned, you will not be perfected in the glory of the kingdom.

If a person, then, performs the works of the pure with the perfect, it is as if they are nothing in his eyes. For the pure also conquer the evil one and destroy sin and cleanse their heart from evil thoughts; but they stand from the fruits of sin, in that their heart is not cleansed from toil and from labor and from marriage, by whose counsel the sins of Adam occur. Because of this, their fruits stand. Because when Adam heard sin and rejected the word of his Creator, it gave him labor and toil and marriage. And when he was not distressed by these, after he sinned he became distressed. And because the pure were not emptied and sanctified from everything that is in the earth, they were not raised up from that thing which the evil one caused Adam from the beginning, that he might desire the earth and everything in it and fall from heaven. Because, therefore, the pure were not separated from everything that is in the earth, and from marriage and from toil and from labor, they still eat from that tree of which Adam ate, and they have much in the way of deficiencies from perfection. But our Lord wishes, in his mercy, to give them that they might preserve the purity that is after perfection, when they are in marriage and in these things that appear fair, that they might be in the day of our Lord.

When he ascends, then, these steps and uproots sin and its fruits from the heart, then he is filled with the Holy Spirit, the Paraclete, and the Lord dwells in him in a perfecting manner. And he eats authoritatively from that tree of life which was hidden from him by the command of his Lord. And then he is able to love and to cherish all human beings, even murderers. And then he is able to pray with love for all human beings and for murderers. When he loves and cherishes every man and murderers, while his heart is pure, then he grows in perfection, and he becomes like the will of his Lord, who is great, receptive, and perfect. Thus, again, a man ascends this difficult step by that prayer and by that light which was with his Lord when he cried out in prayer, a mighty cry, and shed many tears, and was distressed in his prayer until his face became like streams of blood. And then the helper came, and the angel appeared to him, strengthening him and saving him as a human being. And the perfecter of all is perfected, for those who are perfected in his likeness are perfected. For he who is not perfect does not perfect; he who is able perfects everything if he wills; nor was he enslaved to sin, he who prayed to be saved and perfected.

Nor was his own strength diminished, for his angel, who is in his creation, came and strengthened him as he prayed and caused him to pass through the place of affliction. But by these deaths of his own, he took the Lord, who is beneath the subjugation of sin and death; and through the many afflictions of sin, he showed us how he ascended this step. For there is no other ascent to this step by which athletes pass in battle, except from this ascent, which showed us the Lord, with much vigil, much fasting, much humility, and powerful prayer, along with many tears, much supplication, and with the groan of afflictions. And then the Lord comes to you and saves you, as it is written concerning death: that an angel came to the Lord’s own servant and appeared to him, strengthening him as a human being. And because of these and those similar to them in the Lord’s deeds, Paul wrote: that the Lord took the likeness of a servant when he was in the likeness of a human being, his creation, for the sake of creation, that every flesh might be redeemed by his death and his subjugation. For thus it is written: that the Lord struggled when no great supplication and severe exertion were lacking; and then his angel appeared to him.

And he withdrew from the fierce battle and took victory from death, and he took the crown of his victory and showed them to the sons of men how they might conquer and take victory from death. Behold, see, my son, that it was not he who was the master of the vigil; for he was going and coming while praying and awakening his disciples, that they might see how he conquers and conquer like him. For if he had been intent on prayer, he would have prayed alone and been heard as he was heard. But in order to show everyone that he was not intent on prayer, he went and came to his disciples and awakened them to teach them how they should pray in their prayer like him, just as he taught them fasting and battle by his fast of forty days and by his battle with Satan, while he was tempted like a son of man. And he exercised his spirit, so that it might be for you a vigil to be imitated by him. And see again how much the master gained by his prayer: from evening until the hour when the cock crowed, the crucified ones who seized him were praying; he prayed and went and came three times to his disciples and said to them: Awake and pray, lest you fall into error. And they saw how a man prays and a man conquers, and thus you shall pray and thus you shall conquer death and sin.

And sin contended with the disciples that night, and it cast them down under the weight of the hour and of the need, so that they said to him: "Today the work is finished." And thus it cast upon them weight and did not allow them to see how our Lord the victor performed his prayer. And our Lord the victor wrote down what he did with death and placed it in the New Testament: that it is right that one should do likewise and conquer as he conquered. Yet every day our Lord the victor used to do thus with mighty struggles and with tears and with many contritions and with many groanings. As for prostration, however, as was shown above, it is the outpouring of the spirit, when one bows down many times before our Lord and prays to him and entreats him. And groaning is when a person pours out his spirit and blesses and stands before our Lord and worships him with the spirit of many prostrations. Thus, then, our Lord used to do when he led his disciples and went out to the mountain from the great throng, and he showed them how they should fast and how they should pray and how they should conquer death and how they should kill sin, and they taught others as our Lord taught them. A great struggle, then, our Lord used to do thus before his disciples, and he used to pray and cry out in his prayer, not because he was in need, but in order to give you a pattern to imitate.

And on one night he went and came upon his disciples, because in it he was united. And he awakened their eyes that they might rise and keep vigil with him, and see how the Paraclete comes to him. And he strengthened and purified him, so that just as they had hastened as their Lord had hastened, the Paraclete came to them, who is their Lord, and delivered their eyes for them and for all those who are likened in this zeal of their Lord and his humility and his poverty. For he had no support to rest his head on the ground. But like a stranger and like a sojourner he walked on the earth, just as God walked on it among the sons of men like a human being. If, then, the Paraclete was not seen manifestly by their Lord, what would have been for you who are yours and were saying that thus a man is left until he departs from this world, and then is delivered from sin? And does not the Paraclete come to this world except thus, as those who depart from the world? But now the Paraclete was seen manifestly by their Lord and by his apostles, and it was revealed to everyone as it is written: that when the apostles prayed and entreated that their Lord might show them, the place where they were shone, and the sweet fragrance of the Holy Spirit, the Paraclete, came upon them as from a censer.

Therefore, how can the Paraclete come to him as to our Lord and to the apostles, and the fragrance of his sweetness not strike him? Because he was not freed from evil thoughts, and his heart was not cleansed from sin. And know that the Saviour does not come to him yet. But he walks in the ways of our Lord Jesus, and imitates him, and is humbled, and bows down, and prays like him, and fasts strenuously. And behold, the victorious and saving one comes to him, as he came to our Lord. And behold, he increases and is praised, in that likeness of our Lord increases all his hearers and his lovers in his abundant love. For our Lord cries out to the keepers of his words, as David said: "Open the eyes of your servant that he may live, and guard your words. Reveal my eyes that I may see the wonders of your law." The dweller says: "Be with you; do not hide your commandments from me, because my soul desires and yearns for your knowledge at all times." I have seen how our Lord cries out to those who confess to him in prayer: "Do all your perfect will, and be dwellers with him, and open your eyes and see his glory, and comprehend all his truth, and interpret the wonders of his law, and let not the truth of his commandments be hidden from you." Therefore, humble yourselves and yearn at all times for that great knowledge of our Lord, and do not fear that knowledge which is to come.

Therefore, because he freed the eyes of our Lord and the eyes of the apostles, that is, those who did the perfect will of our Lord, and they were freed from the wicked on that great day of judgment. Our Lord, however, when he had no need of prayer, prayed and was heard and was perfected, and the Paraclete came to him while he was not subject. If our Lord, then, when he had no need of prayer because there was no sin in him and he had no master to entreat him, since he was not subject, but he was the Paraclete himself, the Paraclete of all who desire him and seek him. If our Lord, then, when he had no need, labored, fasted, and prayed, how much more ought we to pray more than our Lord prayed, and to fast continuously, as it is said: For this race of Satan is conquered by fasting. And how much more ought we to weep more than he wept with strength and many tears. Because sin is present, and because sin still stands in us. For our Lord had no need, nor was there sin in him as there is in us. And from here know that our Lord had no need of the Paraclete, but he was the Paraclete for himself and for all who were embodied in him. For thus it is written: They praised the Lord with a new praise, because he performed a wonder. His right hand and his holy arm saved him. The Lord showed his salvations, and with the peoples he revealed his righteousness.

And he remembered the goodness and faithfulness of the house of Israel. And they saw all the passes of the land, the salvation of God. All the land praised the Lord. They rejoiced and sang and praised. They sang to the Lord with citharas and with the voice of a singer. I saw that it was not difficult for the Lord to ascend upon the salvation of the angel: for behold, his right hand is his salvation and his holy arm. See, my son, what the prophet said: that the Lord showed his salvation and labored among the peoples, revealing his righteousness. I saw that they showed you how he contended with Satan and overcame him, and behold, as he revealed to you his righteousness, that he might be likened to him. And he besought in prayer and begged with a mighty cry like a man in whom sin dwells, while the Lord was holy, as it is written. To you, then, the Lord shows how a man is cleansed from sin. I saw how he died for sinners and with Satan, but not for the reasons that he taught how he contended with him, he would have been angry with him and added to him. I saw how for the reasons he humbled himself, so that with Satan a small fox might contend.

For the righteous son of man is led to slaughter because of God, and he sees his Lord and is amazed because he endured affliction lightly and was comforted. And that son of man sees that there is no one to help him, and he is filled with grief and weeps over his murderers who are killed by him. Thus the Lord desired that he be saved from evils and endure afflictions, and his heart was filled with grief because of iniquity. This, then, is because of his debt to his Creator, that it not be lost. For thus it was his portion: that he receive forgiveness and be healed for the house of life. Also over his completions and over his upright ones the Lord was grieved and wept over them and prayed with tears over them: that they might be a companion to him and that he might pray over his murderers with tears and seek from them as that one sought from his father that he forgive his murderers, because he and his father are one in one, and one in one, and the Spirit of Holiness is in them. And all that he said, that he forgive them, is because he taught that he also says to him, "I also forgive," as that one said to his father. I have seen how the Lord was merciful and became a companion to him in everything, also how he conquers evil and sin, also how he conquers the evil sons of man who come against him in iniquity. Come, let us gather your spirit and pray over them that they may live. If you come, behold, they are ashamed of their follies and come to your face and live.

and unless they repent and strengthen themselves in their righteousness, they are revealed in this: that on that day of judgment when the Lord is revealed in his glory, they are glorified with me before all creation, and they are humbled before me and before all creation, both upper and lower. But you, do not rejoice in your destruction; rather, pray for yourselves that you may stand. Behold, my son, see that when one of them fell ill, it was not difficult for him because of his desire, and it was difficult. But this one, because of his great love for you, desired that you live, and because of that he endured all that he suffered, so that he might overcome the bitter Lord who had bound you in your freedom from the beginning, through the transgression of the commandment that the house of Adam transgressed against the word of the Life-Giver of all, who loves all in his mercy. Glory to him, amen. And this also you should know, that unless he is sick, he is imprisoned and stripped, sanctified and humbled, like the death that shows you the Lord who kept all the commandments and loved his enemies and his murderers and prayed for them in mercy, unceasingly and increasingly. And unless he prays as the Lord prayed in groaning and tears and pleaded greatly, the Savior will not come to you. For the Lord said: If you love me, keep my commandments, as I kept the commandments of God. And strengthen yourselves in his love, as I kept the commandments of my father.

and I will come to you, I will come and be a father to you, and I will make you my brothers and the dwelling-place of my abode and the region of my life, and I will lead you to me and I will not leave you orphans. When, therefore, sin reaches its completion, sin is not ashamed but is rather importunate in prayer, as the Lord did; sin is not perfected, and the Saviour does not come to it. And if the Saviour does not come, sin is not redeemed. And if sin is not redeemed, evil thoughts are not removed from the heart. And if thoughts are not removed, the heart is not purified. And if the heart is not purified, the hands are not raised in purity. And if the hands are not raised in purity with the heart, when the heart is full of the love of all humanity and the love of the Lord, so that it may enter to the Lord at his gate, sin is not able, even if it stands before the gate, as it is written: concerning the king who saw the blind and saw there a man who had no good garments, like that rich banquet and like that glorious sinner, and the sinner commanded his servants, and they bound his hands and his feet and cast him out into the outer darkness, because he had become proud and because his heart was not pure.

the virtues, then, of the purity of heart of the Lord, look, when it is perfect, as it is written: "Blessed are those who are pure in heart, for they see God, for they enter into the sanctuary of the Lord Jesus the King, and His praise, and His crown, and His kingdom, and they see His face within the house of His sanctuary, and they dwell with Him, and they are praised with Him, and they rejoice with Him." For those who suffer with Him and love Him rejoice with Him, and are made glad, and are praised in His light, and in His inheritance, and in the place that is chosen and good for them, which is higher than all the places of the house of life. For there are also many places that are prepared for every person according to their deeds, but that place is higher, and not every person ascends to it, as the Lord said: "For this word not every person is sufficient for it." That one, then, not every person does deeds that are worthy of this word. For unless he takes up his cross and follows in my footsteps and in my conduct, he is not worthy of me. Hence, do not be troubled by the many who, when they go to that world, you see that they are separated from the person of the Lord and from that city of His glory, for He said to them from here: "Whoever, then, desires to see the person of the Lord and to dwell with him, let him take up his cross and be likened to Him from this world, so that when he passes from this world, he will be with the Lord." As Paul the spiritual said: "When he passes from the body, he will be with the Lord.

Otherwise, know that you will take up the cross and follow in the footsteps of the Lord and in his ways, read in the Gospels, and come to this saying, and learn, and ask one who knows, and he will show you. Or humble yourself and prostrate yourself before the Lord, and he will reveal to you. And you were humble toward every man, so that where you did not expect, you might find a man of knowledge who would show you the way of the Lord Jesus. For they are fools and deceivers and deficient in their vision, the disciples of the Lord. And just as the Lord made perfect ones on earth, so too his perfect ones raise up perfect ones on earth through the Lord. For the Lord makes perfect ones through them. For if it were sufficient for every man to receive the Spirit of the Holy One, the Lord would not have appeared in the flesh like a man, nor would he have sent prophets and apostles to be his heralds and to show to mortals his truth and his glory. And thus Paul said: "This is my labor and my contest in the perfection that is sought in me through the power that he established for every man, when he is perfect in Christ." Just as Christ established and perfected through his power, so too he ran, establishing every man when he is perfect in Christ. And thus a man runs to attain something for whose sake he has attained it. Do not, therefore, despise any of these little ones, for through his hand you are destined to receive perfection from the Lord Jesus Christ, the King of glory.

Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, the eternal Trinity without division, forever and ever. Amen. Concerning the banquet, then, of which I spoke: the king who made a banquet for his son is the Lord God, and his son is our Lord Jesus Christ, the King of Heaven. The banquet, then, is the kingdom of our Lord. And the guests are all the apostles and prophets. The invitation, then, is this: that the Father desired to reconcile his son with all the children of humanity. Their coming, then, to the banquet is that when one repents, he is received. Both good and evil, then, are those who were invited, who came in this world, before many times, and put on good garments, which are good works, and went to that banquet which is the kingdom of our Lord. Those, then, who were invited and refused: these are those who refused from the coming of our Lord and did not wish to believe in him. And those who entered and were received while wearing good garments: these are those who believed in our Lord and kept his commandments and did all his will, fully and completely. And he who entered and was cast out and left: these are those who believed in our Lord but did not keep all his commandments, and took his body and his blood to condemnation, as it is written: that when one eats the body of the Lord and drinks his blood while not being worthy of him, he takes him to judgment and to the fire of burning on the day of judgment.

Now, concerning the entrance: those who enter the kingdom on that day of judgment, and those who go out from it. But the entrances that entered: those who believed in the Lord and were baptized in his name. And the exits that went out: those who denied the Lord on that day of judgment and persisted in their evil deeds, because they did not keep his commandments, just as that man who was clothed in filthy garments, which are the evil deeds of sinners. But listen to me and prepare for yourself good deeds, which are the garments that are received for their wearers in the house of the Lord. The Lord calls everyone, both rich and poor, and does not reject anyone; but both good and evil, everyone who repents and turns to him, he receives. And on that great day of judgment, there is in his treasury a reward for everyone according to his deeds. And soon he will come to those who keep his word and seek him. As the Holy Spirit declared through David and said: The Lord is seen in his glory and is moved by the prayer of the poor, and he does not reject their prayer. This shall be written for the last generation: and the people who are created shall praise the Lord. Because he stooped down from the height of his holiness: the Lord stooped from heaven to earth, to hear the cry of the prisoner and to release the living from death. I have seen that the Lord is moved by the prayer of the poor, and he does not reject their prayer and their petition.

And because of this, let this not be written, and let the last generation see it and seek from God his truth. And let it be revealed to them the depths of the wealth of the wisdom of Jesus Christ. And let them believe in him and say thus: Hear, O God, our prayer, and do not weary of our request. Hear and answer and accept our supplication, and hear: because of the persecutor and because of the oppression of sin. And they cried out with their spirit and said: Have mercy on us, O God, according to your grace and according to the abundance of your mercies; cover our sins. Increase, remove from us iniquity, and from our sins purify us. Because our follies are known to our brothers, and our sins are before you at all times. To you alone, O Lord, are our sins and evil deeds before you we have done. O Lord, see that sin has been mixed in us from the beginning. But you, in truth, have willed: you have revealed the hidden things of your wisdom, and we have been justified by your word. Sprinkle upon us the dew of your compassion and purify us and cleanse us with it, and whiten us more than snow. And turn your face from iniquity and look upon our humility and our repentance. And cover our follies and give us your consolation and your joy, and let our bones rejoice that have been humbled before your radiance.

and be humbled in that truth, the ancient mind, which was corrupted by the confusions of error; and put on that new mind which is renewed by good works in the likeness of its Creator, our Lord Jesus Christ; and let your bones be humbled until our Lord hears you, and calls you, and brings you near to him, and binds you with his love, and delivers you from the harsh servitude of the bondage of death, and creates in you a pure heart, and renews in you his steadfast spirit. And you shall be a new creation, and you shall praise our Lord who had mercy on you in the last generation. Because he descended from the height of his holiness and heard your groan, that you were bound in the bondage of death. And he placed a limit for your eyes and delivered you from the harsh servitude of death, and he set a limit for your eyes at your boundaries. This then is what you shall be in the eyes of those who are a new creation in Christ, in the purity of heart, as was Adam before he sinned and transgressed the commandment of his Creator. These are the ones whose heart is cleansed from sin and who hide from everyone: the eyes that set a limit at their boundaries. The end of the Memra on the Difficult Steps that are on the Road of the City of Our Lord.